Reviews for Slave and Master, Part 1:Consequences
Naramyon chapter 3 . 5/8/2008
I LOVE the way you've made the last sentence(s) glimps of the future.

One thing I don't get. If this is a yaoi, and Calen is the main character, where the hell is he going to get a son from? O.o

I like your characters. You've made sure to give them each a fault, so they seem more realistic (I'm sure you hate that word by now.) instead of a child's make-beleive friend. (I loathe those characters.)

Great job with this chapter!

~The Critic, Zoa
Naramyon chapter 2 . 5/8/2008
Dun, dun, dun. Perfect cliff-hanger.

I like:

1. It's perfect, how you DIDN'T make Calen infalable. The Lord was clever, and spotted the asassin. Makes things interesting and realistic.

2. Love the forboding end of the chapter. You set the mood expertly.

~The Critic, Zoa
Naramyon chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
I give this chapter a 10/10.

I liked:

1. How you introduced the characters as they proceded about their day.

2. I love how you implied the future plot. You told us that the king is starting to doubt the Shikkart's loyalty.

3. I like how you creatively handled the twins mind link. They weren't talking to each other, it's more like thoughts over-flowing into each other. You made it seem more realistic.

4. I also like how you used the mind-link to imply a massacure(sp?).

I didn't like:

1. You didn't describe the surroundings much, but your story was filled with so much else that the readers' mind is left to wander.

2. That the main character(s) are 13. (You made it sound like they are 13.) I agree with Calen, 13 is much to young to kill people professionally(sp?).

I enjoyed this chapter. I can't wait to see the rest of the story.

~The Critic, Zoa

(Author Alert list)
Kalista Jia chapter 13 . 3/27/2008
soo sad!

You really killed * !

well at least he stopped him from going after his ...!

so brave!
Kalista Jia chapter 8 . 3/27/2008
this few chapters are really breath taking. I was holding my breath as I read! Wow! truly is amazing! I like the last few paragraph in ch 8. I mean really LIKE THEM!

Fyan is been an awesome brother, I would do the same too if I need to save my family. Thanks for making me realise that !
Kalista Jia chapter 6 . 3/27/2008
omg so touching this scene! I love it! It banged my chest like a BANG! lol ok I am not good in words!~ but you know what I mean!
Avili chapter 4 . 3/26/2008
...Galen died?

Avili chapter 1 . 3/26/2008
I lyk the name Gaiver...sounds nice

Gaiver gaiver gaiver gaiver,

I have a twin! XD
PandaIzumi chapter 53 . 11/16/2007
I just read this whole story in two hours. I oved it. It almost made me cry. My eyes teared up and everything. I'm gonna go read the second part right now.
Widom chapter 53 . 5/27/2006
Dang. Just a sample chapter. Be that way, then. *goes off to read part two*
Widom chapter 52 . 5/27/2006
Oops. I meant -ha. LOOKED like dead, but not actually dead. God, without the foreshadowing I might have gone insane with character-death grief.
Widom chapter 51 . 5/27/2006
*throws kinves* I knew it, I knew it! Why would you HURT GALEN?Nevermind, I know: Plot advancement. I forgive you (or do I?) because there are something like two chapters left and your froeshadowing earlier said Galen would live.
Widom chapter 50 . 5/27/2006
I knew it! *triumph* Well, sort of. I wasn't expecting the King to show up (although it had to happen eventually, I suppose) but I knew there was a twist somewhere.
Widom chapter 49 . 5/27/2006
Curse this site! "Site overloaded, please try again..." Dammit!

*cough* Anyway...I'm glad they're happy-ish now (a fact I would have told you had this site not been being horrible) but I know something else must happen. You have a way of writing stories with happiness and joy before a horrible, heart-breaking disaster (a trick which I love, by the way.)
Widom chapter 45 . 5/27/2006
Cliffhanger! No!*sniff* I never said I'd stopped beta-ing for you, and, while I'm sure there are better ones out there, I'd still like to.
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