Reviews for A Marriage of Inconvenience
i loost speeling beas chapter 4 . 4/3/2006
i like it a lot, plz keep oging
Just Crane chapter 3 . 12/30/2005
Hi. I really liked the first two chapters of ur story. The 3 just seemed to be a little off from the rest of the chapters. KEEP ON UPDATING. bye
doriansportrait chapter 3 . 12/10/2005
i'm liking where this story is going! good work!
zagato chapter 3 . 12/7/2005
I really like your story. Please update.
Lady Seiryu chapter 3 . 12/1/2005
oh i like! UPDATE!
urbiggest fan chapter 2 . 11/26/2005
im definetly HOOKED WIF u brilliant story! updatee soon! very soon! please.. its kinda frustating to wait for anotehr please be very kind to update soon1! luv u story! continue..already georgina!
Lady Seiryu chapter 1 . 11/10/2005
i likes! but i would so die of emberassment if that ever happened to me! heheh! sorry it took me so long to review! stupid school! UPDATE!
The Queen of Squirrels chapter 1 . 11/7/2005
Ta dah! Your promised review is here. It was a good beginning, but obviously is just the start of a story, so I'd like to see where you take it from here. The first thing that REALLY caught my eye was the formatting- I don't know what you used to update with, but FP mixed it up. The problem with the double-spacing is that the paragraphs seem to bleed together (I recognized only two) and there's a few spots with one word on a line. I dunno, it's weird, take a litte things..** "that horrid crow that she was cursed to have to call aunt" Ditch the 'to have', you odn't need it and it flows better without it. The way your using aunt, either add 'call an aunt' or capitalize it.** "she was shocked, no horrified to find her home under the control of that tyrant, Aunt Eileen." Switch out the comma for a dash (shocked- no horrified, to find...)** "preferred from a distance" swap 'from' for 'at'** " of the throne" off, and you could really make that two sentences if you wanted to.** "She detested it but with her only other choice being her home, her choice had been no choice at all." Comma after but, and swap out the second 'her choice' for an 'it'. (It just sounds like too many 'her's)** "not an elevated servant. A sharp pain pulled her out of" Good part for a new paragraph.** " every leaf outside glistened and beckoned her outside." Nix the first outside so the word isn't too repetitive.** "After all in for a penny, in for a pound" Do something to make the saying more obvious, like italics, quotes. I'm not sure what's the correct thing excatly, maybe even just a comma after 'all'.** "called her The Goddess" Quotes on "the Goddess"** "With a smile, George held the apple out, saying, “Smart girl, I knew you’d like that." Flip-flop it, so that the spoken part comes first. Another general thing, when someone new speaks, start a new line. Personally, I'm really critical of 'then' usage. Sometimes it's necessary, but I think it usually makes writing sound less mature. If you really think a sentence needs a 'then', go for it, but try to get along without it.** "aggressive virility and uncompromising authority" All positive here- I loved the charactrization in this line.** Good beginning :o) Just a few little typos, but hte charcterizations good. And I can relate to the whole " foot in the mouth" thing with George. Maybe add a little bit more about riding and getting far out, lost , etc. Keep writing!
priya chapter 1 . 11/7/2005
hey it's me and i m reviewing like u told me to do! i like the story! and as much as i m suprised to say this i want u to keep me updated with this story. cheerios! c ya later!
159 | « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11