Reviews for Shadow in the Night
Joselyn White chapter 4 . 12/17/2005
lol! "Bitter Reminiscence". Now where have I heard that before? I was just reading that story. It's pretty good. The kids taunting sounds as if that's happened to you before. I'm sorry. But all and all, it was really good. Keep it up! _
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 3 . 11/23/2005
Hi there! It's me again! Well, good to review this again. Anyway, I sorta like Castalle's reunion with Phayne and Reran. Your scenes were very well described and I wonder what's the scene that Castalle saw with her other self. Anyway, I guess I'll have to continue reading to find out...
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 2 . 11/22/2005
Hi there! It's me again! Well, good to review another chapter, but I guess that it'll be what I can offer for now... anyway, good chapter again. I really like the fighting scene. It was very well done and I don't think I can do as good. It really seems like the way Salvatore would do. And yeah, I guess the Scheat was really unlucky, huh? Castalle's really got some fire in her... and yeah, I guess that Reran and Phayne knew her as well, huh? Guess I'll just have to find out next time I R&R...

P.S: So you're a manga and anime freak, huh? So am I! Well, actually, I'm more into manga than anime, but anyway, maybe we can exchange email over this? And yeah, really like Hotaru and Kyo of Samurai Deeper Kyo. They really rox!
Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 1 . 11/22/2005
Hi there! It's me! Thamks very much for your reviews anyway. They made my day! Anyway, on with the review. Ok, so I can see that this is indeed a great story. You really described Castalle's feelings quite well. I really wonder what's the deal behind her angst, but I guess that will be made known soon, huh? Reiku seems to be a loyal familiar as well. I guess you got the familiar part idea from Guenhwyvar, huh? Wonder who is the one who asked Castalle to find Calmengir... guess I'll have to read on further and see...
Lortenian chapter 4 . 11/19/2005
Good, good. Keep up the hard work.
Lortenian chapter 3 . 11/19/2005
You know what helps me write? READING A LOT OF BOOKS! It helps me get various ideas. The only suggestion I would give you is, take your time writing your story/stories. Look over your chapters and edit them until you like what you have, then if you wish, move on to then ext chapter. It works for me. )
Lortenian chapter 2 . 11/19/2005
Oh, she's half dragon half elf. COOL MIX! You write well, I'll give you that. I'm gonnadd your story to my favorite stories list.
Lortenian chapter 1 . 11/19/2005
Don't worry, I wn't flame you. You write pretty well, one of the better writers I have come across. I love that fact that Castelle is half dragon, half...human? Anyways, g2g read the next chapter.
Lccorp2 chapter 4 . 11/18/2005

Archdemon Lord Duffikus.

Mainly, the same points I made in chapter 1. The plot is moving along decently, but mayhaps it's a little too early for things to get too serious? Then again, it's your work...
Lccorp2 chapter 3 . 11/18/2005

Archdemon Lord Duffikus:

You just go and do that. Both I and my Creator were a bit confused...
Lccorp2 chapter 2 . 11/18/2005

Archdemon Lord Duffikus:

Fairly decent, except for one small point.

Castalle seems to be turning into a "Mary Sue", one of those perfect freaks which populate poorly written stories, characters with no weaknesses, etc, etc...

I've yet to pass the following chapters under my demonic eyes, but just a hint: Xena-like warriors are oh-so cliched on fictionpress. Nevertheless, characters change and grow, and I'd like to see where you take this half-dragon.
Lccorp2 chapter 1 . 11/18/2005

Archdemon Lord Duffikus, Devourer of Worlds:

Pet Peeves of mine:

Sentence openers. You've managed to do plenty of miscellanious openers, nouns, but there are only a few verbs and adjectives, and you are sorely lacking in the When/while, because, -ed words and prepositions department. Try using a variety of types of words to start your sentences.

Nouns. Instead of using "Castalle" all the time, try some different things. "The half-dragon" perhaps. Use this opportunity to describe her without having to devote a huge chunk of text. Little snippets woven into the nouns you use can has red, eyes, right? "The red-eyed maiden?" use your imagination. I see you have a piece on Castalle on your bio, but don't expect others to read it!

Generally decent spelling and grammar, but I'd be lying if i said I'd never seen a better choice of words.

More descriptions needed! Give us insight into the world. A warning, though, nothing puts off readers like my creator like a huge block of description. WEAVE it into your story. Where do you want your description to come from. An outside narrator, Castalle herself, some other character? Decide!