Reviews for Making Him Notice |
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![]() ![]() nice! |
![]() ![]() ![]() stilll love it |
![]() ![]() This is a super cute story! But we need to find out more about Ryan. |
![]() ![]() The characters in this story are so normal and plain that it kinda pains me to read, but idk you must have done a really good job writing this for me to still be intrigued. I'm kinda confused myself, but whatever. Nice story :) |
![]() ![]() this is my umpteenth time reading this story (I just love it so much) |
![]() ![]() OMG! My mom and dad are divorced, I live with my dad, I have a dog, I have a slightly southern accent, my hair is a golden color, and my favorite music genre is country, but I like alternative music, too! Hahahahahahaha! |
![]() ![]() Chapter 25, literally crying! And you spelled, or really Trent spelled, confidEnt wrong. Amazing story btw |
![]() ![]() how touching but as making out with a drunk... no...no. |
![]() ![]() cool. I love it |
![]() ![]() yo you need to be consistent remember writing that trent and ally dated for one day |
![]() ![]() Um 6 hour flight? So he could do it 4 times in a day? Not that big a deal. And since it has been made abundantly clear that money isn't an issue for him it's not like he couldn't afford to fly back and forth. Weak. Perhaps if he was going to Oxford in England? |
![]() ![]() Entertaining? Sure. But would I call this a good story? No. It feels really juvenile, while I can understand that the characters are young, their portrayal and the in between bits sounds as though they are being written by someone who only has the vaguest idea of what emotions or reactions someone would have in their situation. Language-wise I agree, don't call people 'retarded'. It doesn't describe anything about then but makes you sound like a total idiot. Also with the whole Una thing, if my aunt was being physically abused by her boyfriend I can guarantee that I would show more concern then Laila has. Understandably she is concerned that by interfering at all she could make it worse, but that doesn't mean that away from Una she can't voice her concerns to Dani or her mom or Trent or Ryan or whomever, or just have a soliloquy to herself. Entertaining but superficial and surface-level at best. |
![]() ![]() Looooove your story#keep on writing this really made my year *fact |
![]() ![]() Love it *big ups to u |
![]() ![]() Hiya - I've just started reading this story...and it seems really good. However, I would recommend that you fix the line that says 'he had a disease that made him mentally retarded'. I personally don't know of any diseases that do that and 'retarded' should not really ever be used. It's hard not to notice that phrase when you read through the first chapter and people could be really offended by it. |