I appreciate your story!

First off, I did see many grammatical mistakes but it didn't take away from the story at all! Although once in a while you would forget to finish a sentence so that was a little bothersome. Anyway, I really liked your cast of characters! Once in a while Heather's over aggressive personality bothered me but for the most part it didn't because I realized that's just her personality. So I congratulate you on having characters with flaws because I feel like sometimes people forget to do that. I thought you portrayed your characters very well and I loved the way you showed Casey and Heather's feeling for each other develop over time. Although sometimes I felt like it was dragging it was still nice to see that they were falling for each other because of their personalities and not just their looks! All in all I really enjoyed this story!

Dear author,
Congrats! Your story was sweet and a tad unoriginal but the characters were believable and Casey was wished! ;-)
Dan was creepy from the beginning, so it was not such a great surprise that he stalked her but his resistance! It's good that nothing bad happened to her! :-)
Mira

Ouch. Harsh remark from Brian

Woah...absolutely loved ready your tale of awesomeness. I have stayed up to the wee hours of the morning, ventured into the mists of dawn and stumbled across the vast rays of the sun to finish it...and I must say, well done!

There were only little grammatical errors that were noticeable, but the overall result was brilliant.

Happy writing, dear author . xx .

They're both so stubborn, it's cute. XD.

I'm a history student and I have to deal with all that shit too, you know people asking me what I'll do if I'm not going to be teacher :P so annoying :D

Hey! I know this is a late, late review, but I thought you should know my name is Heather Harley and my major is history. I am also 5'2" and have big boobs and a tummy. So reading this story is quite odd to me, but very good none the less. :D

This is a little hard to read; Heather is so miserable and acts so entitled. Her point of view is rather unpleasant.

The story achieved a good level of emotiveness with regards to the main pairing of Heather and Casey. However, I felt some things were glossed over, specifically, Mickey's death. It seemed that despite the funeral and Heather crying at the hospital, there was very little exploration of her cousin's death. Even though you wrote of her guilt in focusing on Casey when she should have been grieving for Mickey, I felt as if this was an excuse not to go into detail about the death, and I was a little disappointed.

Aside from that, your characterisation was good, rarely resorting to telling the reader rather than showing them. However, your grammar needs significant work, especially with regards to commas. For the first ten or so chapters I had difficulty deciphering some of the sentences due to a lack of commas. Fix that and it'll be a lot easier to read.

Your writing is terrible. I feel like I am reading something written by an elementary student. To much description and far too many passive sentences. Your premise is good, but I would advise you to go back and rewrite.

it was really cute! just a thought, maybe they shoudl have said i love you to each other...

Hey I love this story! I read this whole thing a long time ago, year or two maybe? Who knows. I just had to come back and add it to my favorites because I can't believe I didn't have it on my favorites list. I just started thinking of this story randomly today-mostly because of the name Heather-then I started thinking of this story. Really odd, because the same thing happened with another FP writer's story. I started thinking of a character's name and had to read the whole story again.

I also remember you as the FP writer who got me into DC Talk- Consume Me. I remember I once clicked on your Myspace you had linked and that was your profile song. I loved that song ever since then too. lol. Later, have a nice day!

i like your story so far...it is very realistic...

this is how people really react...and heather sounds pretty realistic too.

I agree that Heather overreacted a lot of the times but I also thought that sometimes she was justified in getting mad at Casey, like when in the very beginning when they first met (though she did seem really quick to make judgments about him). I agree though that she did get better and less bitchy, but I guess I never really thought that she was that bitchy to begin with. I also didn't think that it was Heather's fault that it took her and Casey so long to get together - he never really gave her much of a chance to begin with to confess her feelings and confront them, and it's not like he directly told her he wanted her either. He just quickly jumped into a relationship with Lucy that didn't make much sense and was kind of random too. I guess it made Heather realize her feelings for Casey, to some extent, but I think that Heather being with Tony did a better job of that because it forced Casey to confront his feelings too. I'm interested as to why he suddenly broke it off with Lucy though. I mean, I know it was a long time coming, but why at that particular point in the story?

I liked Casey & Heather together. They did have chemistry and I like how even when they were with other people, that was still apparent. However, I don't really think that the summary you have for your fic really fits the content of the fic itself. Casey & Heather didn't really have any particularly intellectual conversations except for perhaps the first one about her degree in history, and it wasn't really like he was constantly challenging her. I think it was more like something about each other rubbed them the wrong way (or maybe the right way? haha).

I overall liked this story. It was cute, and even though you said you thought it dragged, reading it altogether, I don't really feel like it did. Maybe a little when Casey was with Lucy because it just didn't really make much sense as to why he was with her to begin with. I thought that Mickey dying was a little random (and sad) and when it happened, it was really clear that he died either. I also didn't really think that it added much to the story, Heather didn't really mourn as much as she probably should have as his cousin, and it also made the state of the relationship between Heather & Casey a bit confusing.

I think it was rushed towards the end, starting mainly from the point where Casey & Heather got together/admitted their feelings. The ending didn't really seem complete because Heather still had those fears about him not loving her back, and he never told her that he loved her. I guess there were implications of their future together, because he was asking about long term stuff, and especially moving in together, but with those worries kind of unsolved still, the story didn't really seem complete.

There were also some inconsistencies in the beginning with the character personalities, like Sarah's. In the very beginning you introduced her as a kind of more outgoing person who gets along with everyone, but later on when you introduced Lucy, you said that Sarah was more reserved. I think as the story went on though, the writing and also the development improved. I liked the chemistry that went on between Heather & Casey, and I like their coupling so I'm content with this ending, albeit rushed. :)

I hope you continue writing; you can definitely see the improvement from the beginning to the end of this story.

- Alyssa