Reviews for The Beast in the Library
AubriannaKnight chapter 5 . 11/25/2005
omg... I thought this in the last chapter, but even more so now.. This story is so close to beauty and the beast, but i think you did an excellent job at making it original. I like the fact that the other members of the palace turned to animals too. I just feel bad because they didn't do anything wrong. I think Ardan should have had more than 20 years to find his love. 50 would have been decent. Maybe he could have found one of her decendants before but the girl never loved him or broke the spell. I like the fact that he was allowd to tell her the story.
codyismypup chapter 5 . 11/25/2005
*snort* The Voices! I can't take it anymore! that was hilarious.-Avey
Plinky chapter 5 . 11/25/2005
Ohh, great chapter! I feel like being a harsh reviewer today - so here's all the criticism I could find...

"but I didn't detect the malicious emphasis on his name." If she didn't detect it, how did she know it was there?

"He so is using the I look like you just killed my dog so bow down to my evil bidding look." the look should be in quotation marks - "He so is using the 'I look like you just killed my dog so bow down to my evil bidding' look." Nice look by the way ;-D

"Don't even think of singing it Caitlin," Josh warned" Hahaha. Made me laugh.

"Little did I know that Josh was staring at our little interaction wide-eyed." This kind of worked, as in it didn't stick out, but when you're writing in the first person everything should be seen through the eyes of the character.

Hahahahaha - I LOVE the bit aboutthe library and the voices. Hilarious. At first I thought it was josh speaking though, so I got confused at the end. I think you need something at the beginning to emphasise that it was Caitlin's thoughts. "Josh heard about it and wasn't surprised" didn't quite seem to fit. something like "When I told josh about it..." or something might make more sense.

"It could take about 2 hours to drive up there, but we had made it in 1 and a half hours." Is this relevant?

"Josh hoped out ... He hopped back in ... We hopped out" that's a lot of hopping!

"I couldn't help but watch her as she made her way from rock to rock." I didn't realise at first that she was the last one to cross. It didn't seem to make sense until I worked it out.

I love the little flashes of closeness through the chapter. Really well written.

"We sat back on the reject bright orange couch" I think it should be 'bright orange reject couch' but maybe I'm thinking in british mode. I don't know.

"She was angering me for some reason" very realistic turn in emotion. I like it!

"Oh shit! What was I going to say?" Hahaha - you should think before you speak. I do that all the time. Haha.

"Listen man, Caitlin is off limits," Josh hissed under his breath." Where's she gone? Is she the one making the noise in the kitchen?

"Her life is hard enough as it is." Ooh, I hadn't picked up on that before. Maybe I'm just not paying attention.

"Caitlin brought us hot chocolate" ah, there she is!

"Fucking hormones" hahaha - I have a friend who sat the the study room and just came out with 'God I'm so fucking horny,' and then sat there going 'horny out, sensible in, horny out, sensible in.' Hahahaha. ;-D

"I wrapped my arms around her and shifted her around so that she was leaning against me comfortably." Oh, smooth! Giving me shivers.

"A little bubble that jerk face had to go and pop." Brilliant.

"That story was my own." nice way to introduce his story - but I found my mind wandering a little through it. Nice change in tone though, well written.

"to this day, he finds feeling to be something akin to suicide; something forced" nicely written.

"During his 320th birthday" I think you mean 380th. Yeah, I'm a sucker for detail. ;-D And was it actually on the day of his birthday? If so, would you really say 'during'. Okay, now I'm just being ridiculously picky. Sorry.

20 and 19 should be written as words as they're below one hundred.

Fantastic ending!

Wow, amazing chapter. Really really good. Great story! Going on my favourites I think. Yep.

Update soon! Sorry for the extravagantly long review. I have no life. Haha.
AubriannaKnight chapter 4 . 11/21/2005
awesome .. I loved the new chapters...Especially Ardan's point of veiw. His sence of humor is so silly!
LadyWriter chapter 4 . 11/19/2005
Nice story I'm enjoying reading it and I hope you update soon! Great job! I look forward to whatever happens in the next chapters.
Mi.Ishi chapter 4 . 11/19/2005
I'm liking this. A lot. I love the story of Beauty and the Beast. I can't wait until you update this. Definitely adding you to my alert list.


Shiny Toy Guns chapter 4 . 11/17/2005
OMGAWD I love your story. Its interesting how you made it.

unthinkable chapter 4 . 11/17/2005
please update soon!
Pandemonium Express chapter 4 . 11/17/2005
Awesome update! _ Can't wait for more! (wow, that was fast too O_O)
BangBangYourDead chapter 4 . 11/17/2005
Plinky chapter 4 . 11/17/2005
Nice chapter, I love the rivalry between them!

Keep writing!
ProxyWonker chapter 2 . 11/17/2005
Um. . .how can you be 'peaceful' one instant and then be 'full of joy and life' the next? The two sentences, especially one right after the other like that, make no sense. It doesn't flow.
Arrogit chapter 4 . 11/16/2005
Aww . . . that's such a cute and simple little story.

Btw, your summary has a grammatical error in it. And I also have a strange urge to respond, "Yes. Yes I did. What are you going to do about it, punk? Huh? Huh?"
Loonerisms chapter 3 . 11/15/2005
codyismypup chapter 3 . 11/15/2005
oh...hes a werewold huh? this reminds me of a twisted (in a good way) of Beauty and the Beast. pleease continue!-Call me Avey
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