|Reviews for Love You|
| Loss of Words chapter 1 . 11/11/2010
Really emotive, and a classic moment, the kind we always fear, the kind that breaks our souls if we aren't strong enough.
The flow through the poem is pretty stable. Normally, I LOVE freestyle that has consistent flow, because that seems to be the hardest thing for poets to master. However, when I read your poem, I actually get the impression that the last three lines should break out of the flow, and be, well... broken. Simple.
How would the poem feel if "walking away forever" was changed to "and walk away forever" ?
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 12/19/2009
I liked that you use some intensity with the speaking and the way that the capitalization of the NO NO NO really makes the poem pop and also brings the reader right into what you're trying to say.
I don't really like the subject just because I feel like I've heard it before, but that being said, I do think that you did a good job kind of conveying that moment, I just think that you could have done something more original than "walking away forever"...because this piece really starts out so strong and passionate but it just ends up not as intense for me by the end. Otherwise though, there was a great rhythm going on and a good image with the "tears [streaming] down her face". :)
from the review marathon (link in my profile)
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
This is amazing. Even though it's short, you capture the scene perfectly. And you're right, it was very sad. The last line was just like...bawh! Haha, great job.
| Lionel Jenkins chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
... *is speechless* Dude. This is freaking amazing. The way that it hit me, I just can't describe well enough. It was definitely thought provoking. I love it. :D
| Run-With-Wolves chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
That certainly is angst! Sweet in a sad way but short. I enjoyed what there was of it but it seems like something was missing. I have no clue what and to you there might not be anything out of place. It's just a thought of mine. -A
| stolen hugs chapter 1 . 12/13/2008
| Eminie chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
This is short yet filled with much emotions. At first glance, I can somehow picture the scene and imagine what the characters were going through.
And after re-reading it, I noticed this piece has much more deeper meanings, it's the kind of poem that really evoke not just thoughts but also feelings from readers.
I especially liked "walking away forever, too far to hear her meekly say yes"
This is the type of poem that should be applauded. Short, simple while powerful. A great inspirational piece!
| lymli chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
it's like the final scene of a play, short poem but every sentence was filled with strong emotions, I felt like crying.
| torn pieces chapter 1 . 4/29/2008
Wow, short yet very deep.
I love this.
| SnackySnackSnackSnackSnack chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
I love this one. _
| East-0f-Eden chapter 1 . 3/16/2008
this is good. it's deep too.
| Sarah Allie chapter 1 . 3/4/2008
Oh, my god :( That was so sad, and told a whole story in a few simple words. Great job..
Sarah :) x
| ilovetheopera chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
oh the irony.
it was indeed a short poem, but i think this just adds to the effect of the poem. the content of the poem wouldn't have lasted any longer, the length is perfect. succinct and abrupt.
it feels like heartbreak, which is suitable. good job!
| camilleta's boyfriend chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
wow...really liked this one. its like..damn...that sucks :P
but, to be honest, i knew hers was gonna be better...hell i had her help me with mine xD. shes a natural poet, things just kind of flow out for her, right along with you.
really nice poem though...for as short as it is...it really makes you feel sorry for the guy
| ce n'est pas que je m'appelle chapter 1 . 1/17/2008
Oh, wow, simple but beautiful. I could see this all in my head. Great job!
Thanks so much for the review on "Watching Airplanes"