|Reviews for Desperate Deceiver|
| CRaZy-OdIN chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
amazing, as always :) searching inwards is always an awkward perspective, often skewed and hard to see clearly. But I too often compare myself with my past self and think "I wish I still had that something I'm missing today" but things do change, we cant stand still in a moving world. I loved the line "My intelligence and common sense long out of date," humourous as it is, also very easily identifiable. Sometimes I feel like I'm fooling people, tricking them I am intelegent when I am university. I question how could one like me make it this far? So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I like it :) haha, nah I love it keep it up. sorry for the uber long reviews. I will take a break here I think. Keep it up x
| Arichos chapter 1 . 11/24/2005
Very flowing. Some concepts a bit confusing, but other then that, great job.
| Aquafied chapter 1 . 11/19/2005
aw, are you really sick?sorry that just makes me think of that.
uhm, i think it would really help and improve the poem to put it in stanzaswhen i first started writing a lot i didnt write in stanzas and now i look back and its harder to read and doesnt flow as well.
i am more of an abstract its good.
| ilovetheopera chapter 1 . 11/18/2005
hmm... not sure what to say. well, it's not bad, but it's not good, either. your phrasing needs work. i can't see any clear 'verses' in your poem, and your rhyming pattern is a little weird. sometimes your sentences rhyme, sometimes not... other than that i like the message your poem portrays.
| Truth Questor chapter 1 . 11/18/2005
That's sad. There is hope, though.
Jesus said, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (Luke 4:18-19)
| in theory chapter 1 . 11/18/2005
It's fairly repetetive, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It sounds almost like a song. I like :)
| sunday night sky chapter 1 . 11/18/2005
i relate so completely. lovely work, keep writing.