|Reviews for Rise of The Crossbreeds|
| nevermore the silent cry chapter 9 . 7/9/2007
...NO! THEN WHAT! gasp! finally bothered looking at the update-date...almost a year...*sobs*
ok, if you aren't going to continue, just tell me what happens, ok? i'm going to go read your other story...
| nevermore the silent cry chapter 8 . 7/9/2007
argh, this is so FRUSTRATING! why can't the world just leave them alone? it's so unfair!
right, i'm grounded, which is why you haven't heard from me in a while...what's up? i have new poems, if you read this before wednesday(psh, yeah right) talk to me there, k? and review anyway.
on to the next chapter..which just so happens to be the...last...chapter you have written...*grr* get a move on. ;)
| Mystic Wolf Child chapter 9 . 11/12/2006
wow, that really good i hope u will update. i love it!
| Wingsister chapter 9 . 10/9/2006
I can't believe I haven't reviewed this! I read it, and but for some reason I never reviewed. I really loved reading it, and hope that you will update soon.
| Almree chapter 9 . 10/6/2006
Lost. Had to go back and read some of the last chapter to help refresh my mind on what was going on. Oakaly dokaly. Very good, maybe just a little confusing, but that mint just be from not reading it in how long? Well anywise, it was good. Keep writing and update soon.
| iamthedave chapter 3 . 9/25/2006
Major problem here. If Hira is immune to gunshots, why did she care about the guns in the previous chapter? How did they re-capture her at the prison? If she's so strong that she can snap the chains that easily, how were they able to keep her chained up? It makes absolutely no sense that she'd get stronger due to garlic being put in her veins, ergo she must have those abilities all the time.
That really took me out of what should have been a very intense scene.
| iamthedave chapter 2 . 9/25/2006
The way you describe the fight scene suggests Syen is rather capable, but there's no description elsewhere to suggest it. In fact, in orphanages and the like, someone with A) that attitude and B) those apparent skills would be getting brutalised constantly or rise to the top of the social pecking order. From what you've said that doesn't make sense as an isolated incident.
You also mis-use 'their' a lot. You really need to have a look through and spot that.
Aside from that, all good. The dialogue's strong a
| iamthedave chapter 1 . 9/25/2006
OK beginning. You set things up swiftly enough, although it did seem to end rather suddenly.
There's quite a few little misspellings that you can probably clear up with a second/third/whatever read through (example: "You know me to well"- it should be 'too')
| FunkyFlower chapter 8 . 3/6/2006
woah! awesome ending, tons of suspense. perfect enough to make me want to read on...
| Almree chapter 1 . 3/2/2006
Hmm... Well this story gets into it like right of the ’s a very cool story. Got a little confused at the beginning when you when back to talked about the past, but after that I got really into, my sister mand jump when she said something to me well I was reading the part when they got coat by those bounty hunter ya, very cool story, will have to read more.
| Olivine chapter 8 . 3/1/2006
wow, whens the last time you updated this? a long time ago, i guess. luckiy, i remembered everything that had happened. :)
anyways, well, the divider worked. and that did make it much easier to tell who was talking.
keep on writing, and im looking forward to the next chapter ~~Wintertigress-::-
| Richard Mortara chapter 8 . 3/1/2006
This is by far the best story i have read on fictionpress, please update it soon! I just have a small suggestion: put down who's speaking in bold at the top.
| Olivine chapter 7 . 2/14/2006
i think you need to put some sort of divider so that we know that youve changed the point of view from one character to another. that would help tremendously.
other than that, yay you updated! :D lol, i was really waiting for this. i do like this story.
keep on writing, and update soon ~~Wintertigress-::-
| ChaosRequiem chapter 6 . 2/13/2006
This is an excellent story, with only a few grammer errors that are virtually nonexistant. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this definetly has some anime influences in it, though the plot is definetly your own. I'll keep up with reading it.
I can tell yur a chracter/action writer, rather than a scene or descriptive writer. This isn't really a bad thing, as your characters with have a lot of depth and meaning, and the reader will be able to associate with them. However, you aren't putting in enough descriptive details, as this is a fantasy story, as since nothing is really real, the reader doesn't have a good picture of whats happening. Also, the setting of the story is a little vague in places. Is it day, or night? What does the encampment look like? What does Syen look like?
Also, try putting in a chapter that helps explain the history or background of whats happening, such as the werewolf or werecat races or societies, and why the humans hunt and prejudice against them.
| FunkyFlower chapter 6 . 12/25/2005
awesome! theres not much i can say, but this is going really well. just LOVE the way u combine the past in with the present and the way everything is flowing so fast. brilliant! update soon!