Whoa.

I loved it.

The imagery is just awesome. And the sharp twist from the innocence to the murder at the end was well-done.

If you go back and re-read it, knowing what's to come, you can almost hear the sarcasm in the words.

nice.

Aww. This whole thing is SO sad. The innocent twin bed and acidic rain drops... Gorgeous imagery. Aww. The seeing is believing... Wow. Just kind of sitting in awe, blown away, speechless. I super heart this. It's so... sad. Peter pan. I fell in love with peter pan. It never works out though. G-d, sometimes I wonder how many girls have ever fallen in love with Peter Pan. And believed him. And believed him. He's m favorite euphamism, I think. Anyway, bravo. I love it.

this is gorgeous. um... that's all i can think of to say, 'cause i'm in awe.

I loved the I believe in fairies parts. And I also love the line "(because peter pan told her so&peter is neverNEVER wrong)" The innocence is beautiful and then suddenly, boom, everything switchs... very nice twist. The last two lines hit me realy hard, just stunning. Amazing, never stop writing.

The way you switch from a light easy, even perfume-like description to the harshness at the ending works so well, after,"she is alone in a field of purple pansies", the reader does not expect the dramatic tone shft that follows. Way to set up the reader, only to drop into a different tone. This is very well crafted, as it breaks away from innocent, fairy tale feel, so well and so quickly. Good work.

Gorgeous. Fantastic imagery. Peter Pan is so inspiring- I've written a few on it.

wow! amazing! so evil while being naive and innocent. so contractory, and so brilliant, because one can do that; children kill puppies and such and DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. this has take that and put into such an angsty theme; brilliant. absolutley brilliant