|Reviews for Sword Born|
| nedi chapter 28 . 2/10/2013
This story is fascinating! I think all the characters are pretty well developed and I like that there are a couple chapters showing flashbacks.
| anon chapter 26 . 4/7/2012
breath-taking u have real potential with this story and deserve way more reviews
Please finish this story
| color.me.vegan chapter 26 . 6/13/2011
And I thought Zulu Doesn't Have Anything On Me was good.
This story is amazing; awesome job!
Now, I'm not saying it's perfect - just that the 'story' itself is...amazing. I did have trouble keeping up in the beginning, though, but after a couple chapters, I caught on to the story's style.
There is only one thing I would work on. Make it clear whos thoughts we're reading in the beginning (Arabella's or Alex's). There were a couple chapters there that I thought one was the other until both characters came into the scene and I was able to say "Oh..okay." :)
Other than that, great job! I can't wait for an update and more Gavin/Alex scenes! ;)
| ChemicalHazzard chapter 5 . 6/6/2011
Hey :) You asked me to review and this is what I've got so far.
Intially the story is pretty confusing. I don't know if it's just becuase I have a very simple mind, or just becuase it is simply a confusing start for a story.
The first few chapters are pretty short, and I know you did that purposefully but it's not a great way to start a story and to keep people hooked. You need to grab the readers attention becuase first impressions are everything and the first couple of chapters just don't do that. On this site, unfortuneatly, people judge the story on the number of reviews and how good the begining is. People probably won't give you the time of day if your starting chapters don't engage them, they'll jsut move onto the next story.
Also, the whole date and time thing is supppperrrr confusing to me. I'm not good with numbers anyway, and by you putting the date and time at the top just addles my brain. You need to make clear what time it is, where it is, and when it is for the reader within the text, instead of forcing them to go look at previous chapters to surmise which part was in the past and which bit's in the present.
This is what I've picked up on so far, I'm gonna go and get breakfast now and I'll read some more of this a little bit later.
| Helping hand chapter 4 . 9/21/2010
So far what I've read has been kinda confusing. The short chapters also really throw me. I like the idea, what you said in the summary, but I'm just getting into it so...we'll see!
| ruby chapter 23 . 11/26/2008
i guess i found where it is. its realy interesting. keep up the good work. i think my only problem with it is trying to understand who your talking about. the she's and he's get confusing, though that might be what your striving for
| gnipper chapter 4 . 6/16/2008
| soaring glass chapter 23 . 6/8/2008
Oh wow. So the rapist reappears. Oh my god, poor arabella. Poor Brandt too because he didn't know and now he's really pushed her into the deep end. Wow, I really want to see where this goes next. You really write this story well, always a twist and a surprise. I can't wait to see what happens and how this all will be resolved.
Please update soon!
| soaring glass chapter 22 . 6/8/2008
Whew! That was quite a chapter. I hope Alex knows what she's doing and I hope it all works out for them. I hope that Arabella will eventually forgive Alex too.
| soaring glass chapter 12 . 6/8/2008
Sorry for all the silly reviews. SHE'S MARRIED? To whom? Gavin? Someone else? Oh my god, I want to know. But I guess i'll have to wait. ( I'm really enjoying this story so far.
| soaring glass chapter 10 . 6/8/2008
Poor Alex. I wonder what she's done. And when Gavin will make a reappearance. Also, it's a bit confusing date-wise. I'm not totally sure when each chapter takes place, though I can usually tell which are the past and which are the present.
| soaring glass chapter 7 . 6/8/2008
Arabella and Brandt are so cute! I hope she opens up and lets him in because I think he'd be good for her. Only 7 chapters and I already care about these characters. good job writing them and developing their pasts.
| soaring glass chapter 5 . 6/8/2008
Who's Gavin? Such a teaser! Now I just really, really want to know! Such suspense. Good job in building it.
| soaring glass chapter 2 . 6/8/2008
It's good so far. Really sucked me in and now I want to read more even though I should be getting ready for bed. I can't wait for the details to sort themselves out. Poor Arabella-raped and alone. Great job really starting in on the action too.
| Shadowe Goddess chapter 23 . 5/30/2008
Wow... Please update again soon please!