Reviews for Essay Myths Debunked
The Watched chapter 1 . 1/26/2006
Oh dear.

I just flicked through the reviews on here, expecting to find maybe one or two people who didn't realise it was satire. One or two people I could gently snigger at in my omniscient way. Because I am, of course, God.

But the amount of people, at least some of whom I am sure must be very intelligent, that didn't realise...Makes you wonder, doesn't it!

Anyway. I thought it was funny. And satirical. Ironically, there were a couple of misspellings in the paragraph about, well, misspellings, which you might want to fix, because they sort of distract the reader from the point. And you really don't want anyone distracted from the point, because enough people aren't getting it anyway...
Anya Tempest chapter 1 . 12/28/2005
Satire? Urk, I feel blonde...

The scary thing is, this is probably the sort of essay that someone would put up completely seriously.

I should have known from the correct use of spelling and grammar and the fact you weren't ranting incoherently that it was sarcastic...*slaps self on the wrist*
Tikvah Ariel chapter 1 . 12/7/2005
Your peice has some good points, but it seems more like a rant against this teacher then a structered thing. Although I agree that it by no means has to be five paragraphs, I don't hold essays on here as the standard.

You might want to try adding in sources so that it is obvious that not just you thinks this, and it isn't a form of revenge its an actual thought process.

Overall though, I found the irony that you used in doing the intro-body-conclude a very nice touch. Although your thesis was a bit hidden, it was still there.

As to your review, I apperciate the thoughts. It was mostly brain vomit, something I wrote in a few minutes and would wait for feedback to revise. I apperciate it, but the goal was not to presuade rather it was to inform. Although it may be appeared that I 'flip flopped' (which is good, since I'll fix that in later drafts), I really just wanted to point out the expectations.
Jen chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
One thing I've learned over the years is that high school English classes have a purpose.

I hated the "rules" that my writing teachers gave out with every essay that was assigned. I'll be the first to admit that doing a perfectly structured five-paragraph essay doesn't necessarily mean that you write well. My teachers will tell you that I always broke the rules, but I also never got less than an A grade on my writing assignments.

Writing prep courses teach you the rules so that you know when-and how-to break them. Teachers give you the standardized five paragraph drivel and all those guidelines so that you know what should be in your essay. In the real world, no one CARES how many paragraphs you have, or whether your thesis statement is in the first paragraph or the third. However, while there are things that one can easily toss out the window, one also has to keep in mind that your teachers are telling you these things for a reason.

Writing voice (formal or spoken English, the personality and tone you use in your essay, etc) and the use of personal pronouns all have their place. As a history major and aspiring author, I read my fair share of written work, be it from my fellow classmates or from a documented scholar or somewhere in between. You may not want to follow the rules, and you may say that spelling and grammar mistakes are easily ignorable, but you also have to admit that the way a piece is written changes how the reader will take it. If I am doing research on the European middle ages, which do you think I’d rather cite: an essay written without clear purpose that recycles the same basic information over and over and is filled with clichés, grammar mistakes, and slang, or a well-organized and thoughtful dissertation that has been checked and double checked for spelling and other errors?

Many people I know will decide after the first paragraph whether an essay is worth reading. Apparently I’m masochistic, however… or maybe just bored, because your first paragraph isn’t exactly an intellectual jewel.

In any case, if your first sentence is a run-on, and your second is a fragment, and your third has a misspelling of “occupation,” do you really think that anyone will finish reading your piece? The professional world is vicious. If you cannot set yourself up as a credible writer in the first part of your essay, the rest of it is a joke. People will either throw it away or ignore it, even if you have several well-thought-out points hidden beneath the flawed exterior.

What it all comes down to is the writer’s purpose. The way you write an essay should fit what you have in mind. If you are writing a doctoral thesis you will obviously write differently than if you are writing for your friends. One thing you should consider before you toss out every single thing your teacher was trying to show you is how you view yourself. Do you respect yourself, and your views, enough to show them to the world in an unpolished state?

Anyway, I apologize for being long-winded. Feel free to e-mail me, if you want to respond to anything I've said. I try to check it daily~

-Jen
Kat-Renee Kittel chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
I like the fact that you're seeing the difference between overly structured classroom writing and writing in the real world.

Still, bad grammar and spelling can be distracting, especially for a proof reader/editor like me.

I remember my English 101 class in College and learning these structured essays that were way too simple. Yet I have noticed that the definition of a thesis statement has actually changed.

This simple advice has served me well:1. Tell the reader what you are going to talk about.

2. Talk about the subject.

3. Review what you talked about.

(three points and an illustration)

-Kat
Luna Lapella chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
This is awesome.

I can see it's satire. It's sarcasm, okay guys? Hence the fact that it's a "General/FANTASY" story". It's a semi-rant about the essays on this site.
Donut prayer chapter 1 . 12/2/2005
Interesting, breaking your own rules, complete disrespect for your own opinions, very interesting, perhaps you could try writing something with a contextual narrator, i think that will be the perfect use of your talents.

Not been sarcastic, seriously you should try it, it's weird. Great sorry though, if it is a story
Nehfi-Tirri chapter 1 . 12/1/2005
hm... what a bitched teacher you had man!... my teacher say somewhat the opposite of what you wrote you teacher said: for one, then it HAS to be personal; write with your words, say what you YOURSELF mean, and that's the most important... I really mean there must'he been something WRONG with you teacher...

(hehe, and as it is, I'm surfing around this site right now in the essay part, because I have to write an essay -)

but now when I think about it, then I'm from Denmark(somewhere in Europe ;D) and 'essay' here could easily be something else here... cuz, you have essay, while we have 'essay' and 'stil'... that's two different things, and you only have one word for it 0-o...

OK, I think I'll just shut up now... I think I'm somewhat boring to listen to, and don't make any sence anyway -
Ashes.to.Acid chapter 1 . 11/30/2005
My composition teacher would slaughter..
Forest Passant chapter 1 . 11/29/2005
HAHAHAHA you're kidding, right? Good luck on your AP exams, kiddo.
ode to a firefly chapter 1 . 11/29/2005
I heartily agree with the use of personal pronouns. I've been getting points deducted for that every since I started writing. :) However, if someone wants to make their argument sound intelligent, they will find that it is entirely necessary to plan out the essay - one cannot sound intelligent if their essay is full of grammatical and spelling errors.

~Christine~
Picon chapter 1 . 11/29/2005
*blank stare*

Please tell me this is just really bad sarcasm.
T.J chapter 1 . 11/29/2005
I don't think you should use essays on this site as a guideline for your own writing. Some of them are good, but alot of them need work. Your teacher's instructions may seem strict right now, but they will be very useful to your writing.
Sally-andersonn chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
I beleive that the teacher just told you how to get started.

I beleive that you have been a little scarred and traumatised by your teacher, leadin you to be a little biased. There are truths. It is better to follow your teachers advice at the beginning, but when you become better at it then you can break the rulse a little.

Don't diss your teacher becasue what she says is truly helpful becasue if she didn't then you would ahve written this anyway.

Enjoyable to read, though subject is slightly immature.
Drew chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
If it's a satire, then it should've been labeled as such.
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