|Reviews for The Children Of The Gods And The Goddesses|
| FlamingDoritos chapter 2 . 12/3/2005
I am now about to use my most frequently used words (aside from gutter mind syndrome, but that's another story). Ahem: This. Is. Freaking. Awexome. I love it! Great job! Can't wait for more!
(Thank you for reviewing Fire Eye!)
| FlamingDoritos chapter 1 . 12/3/2005
Kewl. I like this! YAY!
| Angela Shinzuino chapter 1 . 12/1/2005
The basis of this story has a lot of potential, but you need to work on the actual writing part a bit.
For instance, it's more natural to slowly work in the physical details of a character than to bunch them all together when they first appear (unless it's in first person and the person narrating is saying it, then it could be okay).
Also, you need a bit more detail in your narration, and you need to slow down the pace. I was just a little confused at how fast it went from Tsuki and Hoshi doing the laundry to that ominous voice telling them about Goddesses and the like.
Finally, just the standard spell check (you had 'thos' near the end, and it took me a couple seconds to figure out if you meant those or this, for instance). If you don't actually have a typing program with spell check, there is a link to download a completely free one over on
I'll be looking forward to your second chapter (hopefully you didn't take this review as a personal attack and either stop writing or fill my inbox or story review pages with flames, as has happened to me before). If you need a beta-reader or anything like that to look over the chapters before you post them, I'd love to do so