Reviews for Miracle Knights
SoulsSwords chapter 1 . 10/19/2013
Nice set up! So we have a sweet, kind-hearted girl intrigued by stereotypical "pretty boy" who seems to be more than what he appears ;) an adventure awaits the two!
Charmkeeper chapter 9 . 5/30/2008
This was an enjoyable chapter. As always the ending has left me looking forward to the next chapter, however I believe my favorite part of this chapter was Ken's Mother coming over and fixing his hair.

As I'm sure you're already aware, I like your writing style and the 'flow' of your words works well.

Hope to see an update from you soon.
NeoMiniTails chapter 9 . 5/29/2008
Good backround-seeting piece; Getting a little creepy; The evil forcesare beginning to make themselves known and manifest themselves to our heroes; Some word-smithing is required to clean up the grammar.
Crane Daitkai chapter 3 . 2/15/2008
Okay, I just finished chapter 3 and my comment is that this reminds me (THOUGH NOT THAT I'M SAYING IT'S EXACTLY LIKE) Fruits Baskets! Which is one of my favorite anime!

Second of all, your pacing is a bit quick, embrace your surroundings and don't rush yadda yadda, I'm sure you've gotten this already. Just don't think about quantity of your chapter, focus on the quality.

The concept of the miracle knights seems to come out of nowhere at first, maybe you should have stated that at the beginning just to brace the audience for the turn (I hadn't read the synopsis before entering the story). But it's still presented passably.

Finally, this is written like a good manga, I could see this as a comic, but as far as structuring it as a novel, you get somewhat repetitive with words (such as "watch" in the first chapter), your tense is good, and grammar is not too bad. Just put some variety in there. I will continue to read on, but I'm noticing that from chapter to chapter, your transitions and consistency are a bit off as though the characters just brush off past events and embark on a new chapter. There's gotta be some coping or resolution before that can be done.

Otherwise good job!
a new reader chapter 8 . 1/10/2008
I notice you talk alot about characters good looks, it's not always about the looks, it more about the character and the personality.
storykeeper chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
Very interesting prologue. Catsy has potential to be a great character, Ken too. And a prophecy, I wonder what it's about...
Enigmatic Night chapter 8 . 11/25/2007
Hey Neo,

hahaha.. I had to crack up at Mis'o'chi... she's pretty funny aye.

Mel's mum's a bit of a hm...

But oh no! What's happening with Catsy? Grrh... the man that nearly killed her two days ago? How did she not know.. yikes!

There were a few grammer and tense mistakes like.. IS HER BAGS ALREADY PACKED.. might want to change IS to ARE.

Interesting chap, chap!
truthordeal chapter 8 . 11/11/2007
HA! You thought I forgot about you didn't you!

Eh just kidding. Anyway...

The first part of the chapter was somewhat contradictory. First you say that the island was showered with light that made everything seem joyful, then you went on to say that it was mournful. I may just be reading(pun not intended) too much into it, but it does somewhat stand out.

You use a lot of, for lack of a better word, "flowery" language. Some is good, when used accordingly, but every sentence having that much detail gets a bit boring and the reader tends to get distracted easily.

But don't despair, there is some good in my evil.

It is a good story, even if I did get into it a bit late, and your prologue was awesome. Your characterizations are wonderful and you do use "flowery" language appropriately most of the time.

But once again, there is a lot of fluff that the reader has to sift through if he or she wants to understand what is happening half of the time.

At the risk of sounding too vague, that is all that I will say right now. Except for a few grammatical and spelling errors, all you need to do is get rid of some of the fluff and your story will be conventionally perfect.

Content still counts though.
soggycereal chapter 1 . 10/18/2007
I really like your story! The way you describe things is so picturesque! Where did you get the name Catsy from? Can you read and review mine please? I've had no reviews and it's my first story so, yeah mine's pretty stupid.
daphnedapple chapter 8 . 10/16/2007
wow tis a great chapter ] please post the next chapter later! ]
Enigmatic Night chapter 6 . 10/13/2007
HEy! Course I haven't forgotten you Neo!

I'm thought I'd left a review the first time I read this chapter. Darn FP.

The action is starting to pop out huh? You're transitions into different parts or locations are a bit rough and confusing. However once you get past that it's ok.

Whoa, her [foster] brother is a tad creepy... yikes.

Haha.. oh who's the scary man outside Catsy's window?
aka Providence chapter 1 . 10/12/2007
it's a very nice start to the story, and while a few more descriptions on the surrounding area could improve the story, i give it an overall nice job.

anyhoo, if you get the chance drop by and check out my story, WitchHunt.

see ya!
daphnedapple chapter 7 . 10/11/2007
i thought this was the next chapter...LOL...the paragraph in the first chapter is much better ]
truthordeal chapter 6 . 9/1/2007
This isn't a big deal or anything, but you probably need to make sure that you format the story right. I got a bit confused with everything being in the same font. Just a thought.

I have to say, this chapter has been a long time to wait for me. I had thought for a moment that you had abandoned it.

This was a good chapter, but a bit short, considering the long time it took to create it. But, then again, I'm not judging.

Good work.
Ds14 chapter 1 . 8/31/2007
I see the drama developing, but if you were a little more descriptive about the characters actions and environments, it would've been a little more realistic.

I don't know if this is just a personal thing, but how would you get a name like Nina Akira Mackenzie? The three don't sound like they go together very well, but again, that might just be me over reading things.

I really liked your description of the main character. A lot of people make the mistake of not describing the main character and the reader is left to imagine something that is very important to the story.

I'll try to read more eventually, but things have been kinda hectic recently so I won't make any promises. Sorry it took so long, holmes. Lata.
57 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »