Reviews for reality
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 4/28/2006
Ooh, yes. I love the second stanza. I'm not a huge fan of the fizzy pop reference, just b/c it's a little long and doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, IMHO. Though I agree that someone could be that. (I did a metaphor exercise once where I had this guy I liked being "an unopened bottle of Mountain Dew, ready to explode into the world." It was fun.) Anyway, yes, I liked the rest of this. Keep writing! :)
just dani chapter 1 . 1/7/2006
i love the intensity

"his finger tips are all the gravity i need"

good work

HellHeartedlyBent chapter 1 . 12/18/2005
shivers. excellent. so powerful in such a small space. the ending is the best part.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 12/16/2005
interesting... great idea I like it a lot
Aslan Israel chapter 1 . 12/14/2005
Beautiful. That end just brings it all perfectly together.
Jezsh chapter 1 . 12/11/2005
wow, the last lines are so powerful. A lovely twist for an ending, and so beautiful imagery.
White Tea and Ginger chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
I get what you mean.
kit feral chapter 1 . 12/6/2005
"his voice is better then oxygen his finger tips are all the gravity i need." That's amazing. That line is definitely going to be in my head for a while. Also, I loved "i am yesterday" just because it's beautiful. And, of course, I loved the ending- it's awesome. So beautiful, so sad, so… you. Beautiful, sad, amazing- the three best words to fit your writing. Never stop. (Hint, hint- what does "last pieces I upload on this account for a long time, possibly forever" mean? Are you leaving? Or are you just making a new account? You do realize I'll go crazy without your writing. Please say you're not stopping writing… you have too much talent to waste! Please don't go.)
Aquafied chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
the title sums it all kind of reminds me of no perfection can seek such a perfection until we all waste away to reality.
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
I just love it, the tone is just so stricking and everything is so powerful to an almost haunting level. I love your style.

~* noelle
a lonely september chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
i loved the ending& the whole thing, really. love the friends referrence. great job.
lackluster chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
brilliant, how the poem seems to begin and end on a similar yet completly different tone.
Smoky Bear chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
"his voice is better thenoxygenhis finger tips are all thegravity i need." delicious, and the "choking on plectrums" bit...

i love the last four lines, i feel like that.

(too many s's in exisit though mate)
randompoetry chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
Nice. I like it. Not much more to say.