|Reviews for If Only|
| beautiful winter rose chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
Omg! THAT WAS SOO AMAZING! thats exactly what im going through now cept hes the quaterback...so completely hopeless...yet i still sqirm in his presence and wish we could be... a last it is only probaly to much caffine, hormones and high school that makes me feel this way! :) keep up the good work!
| lxpetrik chapter 1 . 2/7/2006
I, personaly, am no fan of the first person. You should maybe change to a third person. It more perfessional.
*side note* what's with all the double periods?
Spice up your words a little more. Get a thesaurus, it helps a lot. It can sometimes also provide insperation.
This seems too simple and boreing. You could change it, make a bit more of a twist. Say, she did change her cloths and whatnot, but she couldn't change everything about herself. She keeps a lot of her stranger things, but with a more glamours base. That could get his attention and maybe they do go out, but they still end with her heart being smashed. Or somesuch thing.
In most of my stories all the people die. Don't know why I do that, but I always end up killing my main characters. That's always an idea. Start with something simple and turn it into something bold and unexpected (although my killing everyone isn't unexpected anymore).
| aslimegreenasalemon chapter 1 . 12/18/2005
It is cute...
| NO LONGER USING chapter 1 . 12/11/2005
I love it...it's short and sweet, but perfect. I think you should continue it...lol. really i mean it's really good.
| prarthana chapter 1 . 12/8/2005
omg jade [lol] u totally rock i love diz story can't wait plz updatei so love disUPDATE!1n plz read my story n rewview 2
| Opal Fairy chapter 1 . 12/7/2005
Ahh I really like this short and sweet. it really shows how far girls go when they become obsessed with a guy.