Reviews for The Real You
Matthew James Current chapter 1 . 1/11/2006
The poem as a whole is very nice. I enjoyed reading it and the ending was well done. But the parentheses didn't seem to mesh as well with the rest of the poem as they could have. For instance, the parts of the poem in parentheses express short first person feelings and thoughts. But other parts of the poem also sound like this too. Maybe you could even have the parts in parentheses tell the story a different way? First person story in parentheses, while the rest is third person. I don't know, I've never seen this kind of style before. Which is a good thing. Seriously, congratulations for being unafraid to try new things and taking your own path! Keep it up and never stop writing.
fairEtales chapter 1 . 12/28/2005
I think that this style is so much easier to write (without rhyming) because it definitely gets the point across SO much better and easier. I think that it has more depth too it. Excellent job. Also, the bolded and itallic words helped get the point across. Kudos!
The Fourth Fate chapter 1 . 12/23/2005
AH! I LOVE IT! Omg. Windwing, this is my all time favorite poem by you! AH. I love it so much! You didn't rhyme! Lol. -hugs windwing- there was so much emotion and I LOVED the stuff in parenthesis! AH. I'm speechless so now I'm doing those stupid I'm-such-a-fourteen-year-old-girl-scream-things but AHH! You totally deserve like 50 dopey girly screams because this was so awesome! I give you mucho props for leaving your comfort zone and trying a new format. Bravo!

Seriously though. The stuff I liked: The parenthesis, the italics, underlines and boldies, the different line lengths, the flow, the imagery, the quotation marks...the whole f* * *ing thing! Just wow. It was incredible. I love the ending.
jas chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
wow great poem! kinda reminds me of chris..i think its great! different 2 wot u normally write p

Silent-Maiden chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
Boyz just have to be like that. I hate it that way. But there's always those exceptions.) Write more!
sunday night sky chapter 1 . 12/7/2005
the poem was great; the parenthesis was really lovely. the best line was: '(I almost cried)'

however, i think the style was a little inconsistant; if you stress some more words, i think it would look a bit better. but its still good!

(these aren't flames!)