|Reviews for and that paperclip heart|
| Lylie chapter 1 . 12/17/2005
Thanks for the comment on mine, and I loved that! You couldve added the capitalization at each new line, but it is overall a great Drama.
| kit feral chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
"one, two, three, somebody’s gonna make you sing and it just might be, maybe, might be that ordinary girl" I LOVE that. Almost as much as I love "because she was that ballerina without her ballet and that paperclip heart is gone" I just adore that. Wonderful, wonderful work, never stop writing.
| a lonely september chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
'and a paperclip heart' great line. this poem was so sweet. you mentioned how you like anything involving dance. ; ) there's one thing i found wrong, tho.'take a gun out of your pocketto stab her in the back,' shouldn't it be 'to shoot her in the back' or mayve change the 'gun' to 'knife'?anyway, good job writing this.
| parasitic pathos chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
I like this...it's uplifting and depressing at the same time...or maybe that's just me...? Anyway. I like how in some lines you repeat a word...likee..."and she dances, she dances" I also liked how you incorporated the paper bag and paperclip at the end...Great job and thanks for reviewing my poem "nothing"
| Dee Dub chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
This is very pretty. It reminds me a lot of "Mother", which, if you don't know, is a very good thing.
| randompoetry chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
Very well written. Good job.
| blue-eyes91 chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
i really like this piece alot! i think that it could make a really great song! keep writing