Reviews for and that paperclip heart
Lylie chapter 1 . 12/17/2005
Thanks for the comment on mine, and I loved that! You couldve added the capitalization at each new line, but it is overall a great Drama.
kit feral chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
"one, two, three, somebody’s gonna make you sing and it just might be, maybe, might be that ordinary girl" I LOVE that. Almost as much as I love "because she was that ballerina without her ballet and that paperclip heart is gone" I just adore that. Wonderful, wonderful work, never stop writing.
a lonely september chapter 1 . 12/10/2005
'and a paperclip heart' great line. this poem was so sweet. you mentioned how you like anything involving dance. ; ) there's one thing i found wrong, tho.'take a gun out of your pocketto stab her in the back,' shouldn't it be 'to shoot her in the back' or mayve change the 'gun' to 'knife'?anyway, good job writing this.
parasitic pathos chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
I like this...it's uplifting and depressing at the same time...or maybe that's just me...? Anyway. I like how in some lines you repeat a word...likee..."and she dances, she dances" I also liked how you incorporated the paper bag and paperclip at the end...Great job and thanks for reviewing my poem "nothing"

Matt
Dee Dub chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
This is very pretty. It reminds me a lot of "Mother", which, if you don't know, is a very good thing.
randompoetry chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
Very well written. Good job.
blue-eyes91 chapter 1 . 12/9/2005
i really like this piece alot! i think that it could make a really great song! keep writing