Reviews for Girl Contraband
a lonely september chapter 6 . 1/30/2006
ah. makes me want to cry, such a sad, tragic ending to this chapter.
re x invented chapter 6 . 1/30/2006
another beautiful chapter. i simply love reading this. please update!
The Watched chapter 6 . 1/30/2006
I've said it before, and no doubt I'll say it again: This is amazing. The way you capture the essence of the poem and turn it into something else completely (yet something just as beautiful, in it's own way).

A couple of my favourite quotes (because I'm not good enough to review properly): "They made love without ever touching, the distance between them more intimate than the act itself." I don't know why. Just the antithesis in your words is heart-rending.

"Life was too fast and love was too hard, and there was nothing to do but hold on." So, so failed. In a sort of poetic non-poetry way, if that makes any sense. It's mundane, it's every day (life is ALWAYS too fast, love ALWAYS too hard) but it's poetry, too. Reminds me of a line from a play I'm studying, "Road". Same sort of thing, only with Northern England accents.

"He watched that mouth while she slept, imagined her blowing kisses and bubbles and other boys." Again, the antithesis: the juxtaposition between childishness and sexuality, the way the sentence starts off with him almost extolling her virtues and ends with him doing anything but. This is probably the least poetic paragraph, but it's brilliant in another way, if you see what I mean; it's prose, and it's real, and it's here-and-now, and after the "nothing to do but hold on" it's perfect.

"A hero's exit and this last cliche."

Because his exit is anything but heroic. Because you added the one description of setting, the one line that's almost ordinary, and then made it something else.

I love this, as you may be able to tell. And I'm almost-not-quite-waiting for the next part, because it's the last part, and because I don't want this tale to end: it makes my day when you update it.

Yours sycophantically,The Watched
Alicia Marianne chapter 5 . 1/30/2006
excellent...i loved this one, even thought it was so short. i hope to see more coming up soon.
poetic abortion chapter 5 . 1/29/2006
this is probably my favorite chapter in ever.

seriously, this was so jampacked with metaphors and random-things (imagery/simi;ies/quotes/stuff). loved, loved the: "Magdalene complex" line. it just made me smile and want to rip my heart out (...) lovelylovely.

~* noelle
re x invented chapter 5 . 1/28/2006
I've waited forever for this one! Great update, still lovin the style. Amazing read. Keep writing!
Aquafied chapter 5 . 1/28/2006
plastic heels.

that makes me shiver every time.
account not in use chapter 5 . 1/28/2006
I lovelovelovelove the last bit. It's so-crashing. Like when your walking nad suddenly the road your on isn't the same one as yesterday.
Kendal chapter 5 . 1/28/2006
God, I love the way you write.

It's so packed full of metaphors and randomness and open interpretations (although I'm sure you meant it a specific way). I love all the descriptions - most of yours make me think of the way one of my English teachers in college once said that the more different a description is, the more it will catch the attention of the reader. Your references are wonderful.

I hadn't reviewed before because I didn't quite feel I could leave a review that did any one of your works justice (and I'm not quite sure I did now), but I really do love your writing. It's phenomenal, and as a general rule, something I think everyone can relate to, which is important.
notACTUALLYwriting chapter 5 . 1/28/2006
I like this one the best, I think. "quoting poetry between hiccups" and stuff, I love it.
AnAlterEgoName chapter 4 . 1/21/2006
There was nothing wrong with her (or so they said). She was not crazy. She was not abused. She just liked the taste of misery.- oh love. just ah. amazing.

i would highlight it all and put it in here. i ll be your home- just ahh.

AnAlterEgoName chapter 3 . 1/21/2006
His cheap marker and backseat romance, his loving fast and hard.- gosh. word love there.

somehow it is like taking a vacation, reading not all hidden in secrets and whispers and hidden meanings are so stately romance.

the only thing is talking of cutting is kind of harsh to the eyes, at least to a not very written venture to me at least. its touchy and down-low.
AnAlterEgoName chapter 2 . 1/21/2006
it seems so blunt but a an addiction.

not too sure if it is good or i am going on.
AnAlterEgoName chapter 1 . 1/21/2006
she was poor man’s origami;coffee and candlewax and red plastic heels.- i love me of cottoncandy days and cliche's.

sunny days with clouds. and this is beautiful
citrus scented chapter 4 . 1/17/2006
ouch, so painfully traumatic romantic and gloriously spun together. i think most people can relate to this chapter, but it still amazes me how you manage to spell it out in such terribly beautiful way. "And the frenzy of steel guitars and low bass rumble, the slash of strings across her skin"- i mean ,god, you just capture atmospheres like butterflies. i started a piece kinda just like this months ago, but was never satisfied enough to finish it. "“I don’t have a home,” she argued, but he flicked butterfly kisses along her cheekbones, careful not to cut himself on her edges." tender, sweet and just so intimate, i love the ending, i want more.
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