The fairytale aspect of this is intriguing, I like the way you've presented it.

Although I do feel that in parts the weighted words (with the bolds, italics, underlines, etc.) could have had a more meaningful (or perhaps just more apparent) organisation or structure to them.

That said, the imagery is lovely and it's got a very bittersweet feel to it which I adore.

i can't even begin to understand this poem. not one bit. and yet, i'm mezmerized by it. it's compleatly and utterly brilliant.

what a lovely, lovely portrait. perfect tragic imagery. YAY

Oh wow you really know how to splatter that formatting genius around everywhere. No flattery intended, but your words really are smoothened out so generously by the fabulous tricks with the bold and italics and etc. And the title is just jealousy-inducing.

This is really sad. It reminds me of sirens and Greek mythology and, yes, Peter Pan.

"with your tears running down your jawline (oh she loved to kiss it inch. by. inch.)"

Beautiful. This whole piece is pervaded with an otherworldly essence. It's luminescent.

peter pan...he seems the most fascinating to those who've lost their innocence and want to go back. i know i do. beautiful job. and thanks for all your reviews.

"if you begged her to open up her snowglobe eyes-/with your tears running down your jawline (oh she loved to kiss it inch. by. inch.) like mother of pearls from the depths/of her soul"

Eek. I love this. And the ending is sensational.

I love this its great especialy the ending. Butterfly eyelashes - amazing.

I love the images you use. Your poetry makes me feel like something just short- circuited in my brain-in a good way, of course. I feel like your writings are understood on a level that isn't quite... *lingual.* Amazing. Beautiful. Amazingly beautiful.

The ending line to this is so - sardonic, I guess. I love that.

oh the end, to die the way you twist words and your format, so tantalizing its almost overwhelming, in a good way.

and even if you drained her margarita bath-reminds me of salty days in a bar down in mexico.

This poem made me shiver. I can't articulate properly. Really, the 'sand in her bed' just made it perfect. That imagery... I would be more constructive, but this poem is perfection. ... and that ending. You're amazing.

Wow, great poem! bursting with fantastic imagery - so vivid.

I'm trying to pick out favourite lines but I can't! You have to read them all together - they interlock so well it doesn't work if you take one out.

I love the bottle idea.

Fantastic ending. Beautiful poem. keep writing! XP

Wow, great poem! bursting with fantastic imagery - so vivid.

I'm trying to pick out favourite lines but I can't! You have to read them all together - they interlock so well it doesn't work if you take one out.

I love the bottle idea.

Fantastic ending. Beautiful poem. keep writing! XP

bleh. punctuation crazy. you have some beautiful words here, but they're all covered up by the italics and spacing and bold and blahblahblah. i REALLY loved the words - very, very beautiful images. your poetry really is expanding in a marvelous way. just don't get too carried away with the format or you might lose track of the depth.