Reviews for A Little Bird Gazing
SiahXSiren chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
Flying, one of my favourite themes because of my obsession with it. I wanted to be a pilot once haha. Great poem!
Sworn Destiny chapter 1 . 2/15/2007
Very beautiful imagery with a great flow and beautiful language!
just dani chapter 1 . 12/2/2006
wow. just wow. i can't really say much; I'm an ameteur writer

but i hope i can write like this someday.
Something Strange chapter 1 . 11/3/2006
What a great poem, I love it! I like when you say the sky is too big for the little bird and then at the end you say it's too small. This is a cute little poem to think about. Awesome write!
J. A. Murray chapter 1 . 9/21/2006
It's very good, but, just to make the reading easier, I'd suggest having somebody look at it before you post. For technical errors, y'know? Making sure you used the right "there/their/they're" and so on.
Elizabeth Bilberry chapter 1 . 9/8/2006
Oh wow this poem really got to me because I've always liked the analogy of a little bird wanting to leave the nest to growing up. The language, the imagery, the emotions; all beautiful.

EB
Matthew James Current chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
Hello there! I decided to drop by and cheer up some of my old friends. _ Fictionpress is truly a great place for me, and I love sharing my work. I just wanted to thank you for your time and reviews and for being a friend to me.

Now, if I may I have a challenge for you. You have a wondeful idea in this poem, and you articulate it fine, but the poem itself seems a bit clogged up. _ I can tell you heart is in the words, longing to escape. So then free it! Don't let things like rhyme or line length hold you back from truly expressing yourself. Use only which devices truly make your words shine and sparkle like so many diamonds. Find your poetic voice, not the voice of others. Your poems can be as long or as short as you want. Just keep in mind, regardless of your poetic voice or style, there will always be ways to improve your work.

Here, your diction seems a bit hesitant, forced. Likely because you are focusing on getting the lines to rhyme. A poem should be music flowing from the heart, not a scientific formula. Release yourself stylistically and find your true voice.

Or at least that's my advice. :P Have a great day And let me know if you need any reviews or tips or anything at all.
xorememberox chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
this is amazing! i love the rhyming and the way it flows... i'm torn because i want the bird to go and fly on, but the speaker seems to love the little bird and doesn't want to let go. anyways, very well done!
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 1/16/2006
Excellent use of word twists and sound in this. The natural scene creates a lovely image and this is maintained well through the deeper meaning that you present. The lyrical aspects of this are well placed to amplify the sound. Good write.
just a teardrop chapter 1 . 1/11/2006
i love the style of your writing, especially the questions and punctuation marks. great work!
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
THis is beautiful.. teh language and the message are great and the whole metaphor is very awesome
rocket baby doll chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
this is beautiful.. such amazing rhythm and rhyme, and it flows so naturally.. i love it
justanotherdeadaccount chapter 1 . 12/24/2005
I love it. The bird seems to start of as a youngling with large aspirations, but as the poem proceeds he starts to see the world in a more jaded view, or perhaps how it really is. The symbolism in this poem is awesome.
ronshaberry chapter 1 . 12/22/2005
Beautiful. Really. In the span of one poem, a little bird grows and matures - ah, the awesomeness of words, eh? Very nice rhyming - I can't rhyme to save my life. So, you know, I really admire people who can. Rhyme, I mean. Beautiful wording, a really lyrical beat to it. Lovely.
Changethesubject chapter 1 . 12/22/2005
lovely work, lovely imagery. 'the sky? - oh no it's too big for you' and 'for the sky has become too small to hold you'. i loved those lines.

this poem was beautiful.
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