A wonderfully witty and sharply observational piece that captures family dynamics with humor and heart. The blend of quirky characters and relatable moments creates a charmingly memorable story.

I don’t understand why post one chapter instead of just deleting the story

Is it just me, or is there waaaay too many stories of selfish brats out there. I enjoyed the writing, but I kept wanting to scream at your main character.

If you haven't noticed, I'm now obsessed with this story. I hadn't realized that this version was still on here, and it's a treat to see your progression as a writer. Judging by the first chapter alone, you've made an astonishing improvement. This version of the story wasn't bad, but it seems more of a typical romance with a little bit of bickering between the leads. The redux version changes the mood between them completely. It is taut with tension, and they come across as much more intriguing characters.

Getting rid of the kooky grandmother also helped change the tone of the story, as did the forced move to Arizona. Adrian arrives with a chip on her shoulder, and Alex baits her further with his attitude. It sets up a charged, hostile atmosphere between them that is so exciting for the reader. I sincerely hope that all your effort and work on this story pays off, because it deserves to be as successful as the far more inferior books that have somehow become famous.

So we can reed only the 1st chap...nice...0_0?

I am so dissapointed that I couldnt read this and the redux (and all of your other amazing sounding stories), but I understand why you chose to do it. Good luck with getting published.

this is too bad. i only read the first chapter and i can tell it's going to be awesome! i wanted to read more.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME

i understand why you took down your story, but you should really fix this little mess. i honestly wanted to read your story and now im pissed that instead of 29 chapters there's 1. don't make the rest of the people who want to read your story suffer because of some asshole.

It sucks that you were plagiarized. I would absolutely hate if that happened to me. You're an amazing writer (that I gathered from the first chapter). I can't wait to read more on your LiveJournal!

I am sorry that happened to you :( I am not a member of Buzzle but you might want to check them out since you get name recognition and an editorial checks your work. They might lead you to the path of becoming published.

So good ! So excitting ! 3 I want to know more

Really loved this!

I read the "redux" chapter first and although I do like this version, I think the redux is superior. The new version seems to get to the point faster, yet introduces the personalities of each character more. The interactions between Adrian and Alex are also much more intriguing, which really hooked me as a reader. Also, I noticed the grandmother character is missing in the first chapter of the "redux," which is an omission I agree with. I think that I will try to continue with the revised version first, since it really caught my attention. great work!

This story got me completely hooked right away just from reading the summary, and it's completely reasonable and understandable that this great writer had to have the story removed. I wish I found it sooner, but it took me a while to sift through so many stories.