|Reviews for Lost Beauty|
| Arwen Starfire chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
This story makes a powerful statement. It can be made even more powerful with more images and climaxes, such as:
have the girl daydream about some sort of adventure with tigers, or about tigers playing, you know, what it would it be like if tigers were still around, but don't say there are no more tigers until the grandmother brings Melanie into the harsh reality by breaking her daydream;
and at the end, instead of just saying "her eyes haunted by the images taht had been created in her mind", show us the images flashing across her eyes, show us the elephants trumpeting and the lions roaring, and show the girl's emotions as well.
I hope this helps. I love that you are taking a stand for animals in your writing. I hope we can do something before all this beauty really is lost.
And please check my writing out and review. I love hearing what people think. You might like my poem "Mountain Stream", and the one I will be posting soon, "Scion".
| shadowedstar213 chapter 1 . 12/18/2005
*currently crying* WAHH! Tigers will be extinct in 5 years if poaching doesn't stop. We need to keep trying. Tigers are beautiful creatures, DON'T GIVE UP ON THEM!