Reviews for How to Write a Review
your harbor chapter 3 . 4/5/2007
Uhm. True that, yo. Haha.
your harbor chapter 2 . 4/5/2007
your harbor chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
Ok. I already know this is gonna be interesting. Hmm, how DO I write a review. . .
V de V chapter 6 . 4/3/2007
Um, okay. It is kind of hard to write a review after reading this little self-help tutorial which, by the way, was amusing. I liked it though. Lay off the pregnancy jokes, however. You have one in nearly every chapter. Cool idea on the whole. LOL. Nice job.
Casey Drake chapter 5 . 3/27/2007
Thank you, Burnt Bread, for the polite kick in the tail regarding my infamous eloquence in reviewing...

WyrdWolf chapter 6 . 3/20/2007
You know, you're sick. I had to log in, and then I had to log back out because I couldn't review! Do you have any idea how long that took? 47 seconds!

My sad life aside, this seems like a paraphrasal of the original-but a good one. A good deal funnier, too, though maybe that's because the jokes are spread less thin now. Still good tips from when I last read, and the template was a nice touch. Now, we don't run any risk of getting pregnant by reading this, do we? I may be male, and it may be physically impossible, but with this crazy guide, anything can happen.

HaChosenOne chapter 1 . 3/20/2007
Strange, you are. but not as strange as I am, i assure you of that!
Nihari chapter 6 . 3/19/2007
Hello Bread. Nice story. The fact that you thought outside the box seemed to amuse me. No one ever thinks to write a 'how to review' fic with the pregnancy humor. However, you did use it a lot, and you know it. I had a few cheap laughs off of it, especially when I had realized that one of the messed up grammar review sample had the person's name as 'USPrisedint.' Now that was funny. Yes, there are few aliens roaming around ficitionpress, with their little masks and their goal to cause a great deal of pregnancy and write reviews to authors leading false realities. That is their ways of taking over the world, odd enough, starting with fictionpress. The mind(s) of an author and his/her readers is a dangerous place. Remember to tell the pregnant ladies to tell their children that. It's a dark place with evil/hissing bunnies and snakes that quack. _ You should know that being a writer yourself. I hope you have a good day. I'm fond of your work but not sure when I return to my mission on fictionpress to find a descent author and fic. Buh-bye. *waves*
Chris Taylor chapter 6 . 3/18/2007
Dude, that was awesome. A few too many Pregnancy jokes though. I mean seriously, that's like a necropheliac with a fetish for beastiality talking about beating a dead horse or something, it was quirky but overused. Regardless, I chuckled quite a bit, and it helped pass the time while trying to work out my writers block. Thanks a lot dude. Have an Excellent Everything.

Chris "The Assclown King" Taylor
Charming Dice chapter 1 . 3/12/2007
So you really did write about how to review a story. I thought Sakka was joking. Funny, because I wrote about how to get people to review you.
Macbeth chapter 6 . 2/20/2007
Yes i am an anonymous reviewer, the horror. However, IT's not in my control, and the reason I can't log in isn't because I have the attention span of a goldfish. (Although the computer skills of a beaver may be right on) Anyway, I'm really enjoying the way you write this story, combining logical advice with biting pastry spawned humor. Keep up the good work, because even us without accounts always appreciate your skill.
The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 2 . 2/1/2007
[When you were writing about the Humans, you used the phrase "bread to kill". I think you meant "bred to kill". Unless you were making a really bad bread pun. If that is the case, ignore this comment.] LMFAO!

I found you through WyrdWolf, who I found through DiamondDust08. I haven't read WyrdWolf's work, but I plan to.

[I know I said writers do not read reviews to boost their ego, but a good comment will ensure that people continue to write fiction, and as long as people keep writing, good fiction will keep comming.] *coming.

LOL! Section Four. Damn, my poor brain was almost about to correct all of those mistakes. In one of MurderProtocol's stories, she had such a low occurrence of... grammar mistakes that every time I caught one, I wrote it in caps with YEAH! GOT ONE. HARR HARR.

[Anyway, combine these four points and your reviews will be so good, you'll never have to be afraid of being flamed for your reviews ever again! Writers will know that you really care about them, and you will live on in everybody's hearts.] I've gotta send you some of these e-mails that authors have sent me, telling me that they don't want my literary analysis. I tell ya, they won't touch it with a ten foot pole. LOL!
Genesis Rose chapter 1 . 1/2/2007
Upon reading this chapter I became pregnant. Actually not really, but it's fun, so I'll continue. I heard about this um... thing... Guide, if you will, from WyrdWolf, so you can thank him for my reviews. I shall continue to read more. This looks helpful. Slightly. I haven't decided yet.
Susurrent Threnody chapter 11 . 11/22/2006
Hello Burnt Bread,

I just finished reading "How to Write a Review" and I thought that it was wonderful, you are truely a great inspiration to mankind. I will follow your work until the day I die because your writing is fluent, your descriptive paragraphs color my dull world and your characterization makes me horny. I hope to

read all of your work and have your baby.

Your speelling is atrocious, yet somehow bearable. You have enlightened me considerably. I might possibly even become a Buddha someday.

I believe this falls under the Happy Review category.

Have a nice day


(The Ghost Queen of the Bananas)
elisefey chapter 11 . 11/2/2006
I must confess to you that I am very sad that I did not find this piece long ago when you were still writing it and I am even more devastated that the hilarity has come to a close. But I thank you heartily for entertaining me and I have added this to my favorites list because I think many more persons will enjoy it. Tootles and I hope to find the time to read more of your work soon, though perhaps not have your baby or engage in any other activity that might lead to pregnancy.
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