|Reviews for The Vision|
| A Fire Rose chapter 1 . 10/4/2012
Great imagery with the breath in the cool air. Need a comma between "Fiercely" and "the." Probably don't need to mention the control she has over her body, as that can be seen when she suppressed her shiver. The explanation was good, though. Need a comma between "hinges" and "the." Very nice pace and sensory detail. Also nice description of the girl's qualifications. No way this is the same Counsellor from the other story, right? Should have a comma between "ago" and "you." Was wondering what the Great Cause was, the the allegience affirmation makes me suspect I may have some idea. The microchip is spooky, despite what I think the allegory is. Nice start!
| Salko chapter 3 . 9/28/2012
Your writing style is a pleasure to read. I'm disappointed there isn't more to this and that it's been so long since an update!
One thing I'm unsure about is whose story this is; the Lynx? The Counsellor? Perhaps it was your intention to keep it slightly ambiguous for the prologue, but I was just wondering whose inner voice is supposed to be dominant here.
Having said that, I enjoyed it very much. It's full of promise - particularly when there's a talent such as yourself at the helm.
| Salko chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
Great set-up here - I'm interested to see where this is going. It's strange, but the atmosphere, for me, was like a fantastic blend of the medieval and futuristic!
| pluie etourdie chapter 3 . 5/6/2007
Why have you stopped this one? It's so fun!
| Matt Lopez chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
Utterly captivating! Dominic, I am so excited to read the rest. Thank you for sharing your mind with mine. I hope that someday, you will share more with me. The imagery was beautiful, the characters round in character. Keep writing please!
| Locus chapter 3 . 4/30/2006
Very very good early for any judgement or sweeping comments, but I want you to keep writing this so I can keep reading.