Rushed. Lacked any depth. No character development. Absolutely nothing new with this story. Weak delivery of the climax. I'm sorry to tell you but this story is horrible. It feels like I wasted my time reading this.

THIS IS THE BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST STORY IN MY WHOLE LIFE , THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT I ACTUALLY STARTED CRYING YOU HAVE (TALENT)

Omg this was sooo sweet! I love how everything was planned! What about Jake though? What happened with him?

nice story!

bit rushed.../

great story!

I actually ended up crying a little, your a great writer. Its hard to capture the emotion like that. I loved it!

Wow. I absolutely loved it. Ahaha! Reading it gave me fuzzy feelings inside and I literally felt my heart breaking reading this. Haha, yes, it was totally cliche, but I loved it! Well done!

not bad. but i think you need to try and make it more emotional, your character is a little unbelivible.

I noticed that you used the word smile a lot when you were writing the first chapters. Perhaps you could mix it up a little? I felt like it was lacking in description. There's not much I really know about these characters, especially her friends. I think you should work on the secondary characters as well, make them seem realistic. I felt like they weren't introduced properly. None of them seemed to have distinctive personalities or traits that set one apart from the other or made them memorable. But that's just what I picked up from reading this one chapter. Overall I have to say the plot seems good. The relationship between Lee and Hailey has progressed really quickly. Didn't they just meet? Hailey seems naive here, and maybe a little too giggly for my taste. That's only my opinion of course. I'm sure the story gets better.

One more thing, I think you should pay more attention to little details, especially when it comes to setting. It's very important.

I'd like to point out that you might have made an error when you mentioned light not being radiation.

"Mandy, we weren't talking about radiation, we were talking about light."

Light, more specifically, visible light, is a form of electromagnetic radiation. Unless you meant that they were only discussing visible light. It wasn't clear to me.

... I like the story, but at the same time it lacked something... Rushed? Maybe. The feeling that the story wasnt finished? Definetly. Alot of things are missing, but overall it's actualy pretty good, just keep working at it.

I love this story! Everything about it is so perfect.

I'm not kidding, in my opinion everything in it is perfect

So perfect.

Hello there. It's Juliet from A Drop of Romeo, the romance site. I picked this story out to add to the list, so here's your raving review:

To be honest, I read this in one sitting and found it quite amusing. The writing style is simple and fresh-and easy read. It’s completed. The characters’ interactions are sweet, and the stereotypical goth guy never sounded hotter.

XOXO,

Juliet

adropofromeo