|Reviews for Beating the Game|
| OscarJLaw chapter 18 . 4/23
Marielle seems to me like someone Megan Fox type of level hot.I so can't really blame Patrick for falling for her games.
I wish you would continue this sexual chemistry between Pat and Marielle is really great.
and Pat is absolute douche but in nicer Derek
| Caitlyn chapter 18 . 8/23/2013
Really love this!
Are u continuing it?
U prob won't coz it's been a couple of years tho :( •sigh•
| imperfectlyokay chapter 18 . 7/28/2013
I think the first thing that drew me to this story was the male MC. Cheers! I love a new point of view. I was a bit disappointed at the end of the chapter since I assumed it was going to be one of those "smart-alec high school students have a power play" kind of stories, but as the story progressed I was pleasantly surprised - more than pleasantly surprised, because although the power play between Pat and Mari is very much in existence, unlike most stories, neither of them had any kind of shattering, soul-revealing moment where they confessed to their past sins and cried a lot. Pat's extreme insecurity and paranoia also really kept my interest going, because every character needs a flaw, and as flaws go, Pat obviously has a chip on his shoulder the size of South America.
Mari was fun to read as well, although something about her bored me a little. I can't pinpoint exactly what, but I know that if I met someone like her in real life, I'd probably lose interest very fast (I'm a very lazy person. Playing Mari's kind of games would require way too much effort.)
Hikari - love her; she's the type of feisty, cracking journalist that I hope to be someday. Interesting dynamic developing between her and Pat, so I was really looking forward to seeing where that was going...
...oh, but you haven't updated since 2008. Nice. I realise that you probably actually have real work to do, though, so you're forgiven. I just wanted to review and tell you that should you ever feel the need to dig this story up and continue it (not likely) then I shall be right here waiting for an update.
But first! A criticism. Mari, Pat and Hikari are way, way, WAY too smart. I don't know if this is a USA high school thing but in my country high schoolers definitely don't have that much brain capacity. Speaking as a seventeen-year-old girl, I can tell you that I am definitely not that smart, nor have I ever met someone my own age as smart as any one of these characters. It's your story, and you have creative licence, nut that was basically the one thing that I found unrealistic - even if it was enjoyable to read.
WOW okay, I think that's definitely a long enough review, especially since I don't know if you even read reviews anymore (doubt it.) On the off-chance that you do, though, it was a pleasure reading your story! Also - I knew you were a guy right from the start. The writing style. Also, 'Lord Iron Balls' was a slight giveaway. Cheers! Hope wherever you are, you're super successful and still writing.
PS - 'industrial strength death coffee' LOVE IT.
| Melly chapter 3 . 6/29/2013
Dear Lord how did it take me this long to find this story. I must say you are an AMAZING writer and you have a damn good sense of humor that is transmitted to these characters of yours. I love Patrick, I love him I do. Can't wait to see what the rest of this story entails
| Mechanical Dolls chapter 4 . 4/10/2013
Why... do I imagine Rachel McAdams whenever I picture Marielle in my head?
(And yes, I couldn't be buggered to log in, and yes, I know you have not updated this for 4 years. But I just recently gone back reading this because I remember how fantastic this is)
| Mia52 chapter 8 . 3/23/2013
For some reason, I have a feeling that Marielle is going to back stab the hell out of Patrick more so than what Alexis did. Even though this is a game and whatever, I think Patrick is going to be hurt ten times over. Hopefully, I'll be proven wrong in this.
However, I did like the little talk between the siblings, even though Patrick did blow Katia's warning off, you can tell they have a lot of respect and love for each other.
| Mia52 chapter 7 . 3/23/2013
Great chapter. Yes, that bitch Alexis needed to have a broken nose. I find it as great satisfaction that her nose is still crooked. :)
| Mia52 chapter 6 . 3/22/2013
Ooh, seems like shit is about to hit the fan now. What is going to happen next, I wonder?
| Mia52 chapter 5 . 3/22/2013
Hikari sounds like a great girl. I would so much like to see Patrick's and Hikari's friendship blossom more. It doesn't have to be a relationship, per se, just a really great friendship.
| Mia52 chapter 4 . 3/21/2013
This chapter was great. I'm already loving his friend, Tom. Like, he's just like Patrick, but still is his own person.
For some reason, the scene with Patrick making her friend move made me giggle so hard. I don't know, I guess just for the fact that he didn't even have to do anything and she left with her tail between her legs.
| Mia52 chapter 3 . 3/20/2013
This chapter was great. I love the little scene between Patrick, Marielle and Brett. The little statement Marielle threw in at Brett's departing figure was nicely put and was sure to make his ego dip quite a bit.
The kiss between Patrick and Marielle... /fans self/ That was just hot. It was just wonderful to read about a kiss with no flowery language used to describe it.
I should've known there would be some sort of mysterious past thrown in. It just wouldn't be complete without one. I can't wait to get to that part of the story. :)
| Mia52 chapter 2 . 3/20/2013
Haha! That was some spectacular revenge on Brett! Horse porn, gay porn and anything else considered wrong in the eyes of churchgoers on his laptop - that was just the perfect revenge. I can't wait to see how this is going to play out with Marielle and Patrick pretending to be dating.
| Mia52 chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
Hi, new reader here!
I just happened to have stumbled onto this story and I can tell right now, I am HOOKED! I just absolutely love Patrick's personality. And it's so refreshing to actually read from a guy's point of view that is written by an actual guy.
I'm going to go onto the next chapter. Hopefully, that will be just as good as this chapter.
| Aeris.Lockheart507 chapter 17 . 2/27/2013
Hey, new reader here :)
This is the first time that im reading a story on fictionpress written by a guy and I have to say you're doing an amazing job! It is a refreshing change to read a story from a guys point of view that doesn't come off as too feminine because it of being written by a girl :/
This is a great story because it keeps you guessing in a way.. I'm not too sure how to explain it very well but by reading this story I've learned to stop taking things as face value and look further than the surface. The way Mari and Pat interact really confused me at first but after a few chapters I got the gist of it and I've got to say.. Their perspectives on things such as the social structure of high school is quite interesting.
I'm not sure if its just wishful thinking on my part but this chapter gave me 'Mari likes Pat' vibes.. I'm sure it isn't as simple as that but putting their rivalry aside I think that they would make a killer couple. I have random moments where I try to analyse certain things so I keep asking myself 'why are they playing this game?'
Okay I'm going on to read chapter 18 now because I'm amped to see what happens :) one of the reasons that this story is really great is because its unpredictable (**,) so surprise us in chapter 19 :D
Take care. I hope work and life is treating you well :) I also hope that myrika and kendal are still making you write chapters and you haven't given up! Bye :)
| Vallen chapter 7 . 2/4/2013
Hey! I just stumbled across this story and I love it so far!
Unfortunately, and as much as I don't want to, I think I am going to have to stop while I'm ahead seeing as it looks like the story will not be completed. There are not a lot of good stories written in a male POV and it's really too bad this one is incomplete. Being a guy who don't mind reading romance, this was an absolute gem, which I might sadly have to let go before I get absolutely obsessed by it.