geez. so sad. :(

in the other review i shoulda said "du bist doof" haha (for takin down the story ;))

breathtaking! makes me wonder wut happened to this person and what will happen next.

Nice job huns :o) And I think changing the last line helped make the poem flow much better. "A thought that never leaves my mind" still my fav line o.O Wicked job! Keep it up Nick!

hmm...I would have to say I agree... You need more description and imagery in this one. It has so much potential but right now it's lacking a bit. You could also make it longer...other than that it was great!

I feel like this could be a good basis, but it doesn't have the feeling of a finished product. The images don't seem to be real enough to sustain emotion, I didn't feel particularly affected by your word choice.

It's clear that this could be a truly emotional poem - but it has to strike the reader, try and do so with more description, better word choice, and more imagery.

- Benjamin Kyle Lawe

YAY i get 2 be ur first review *does lil happy dance*! I like ur poem, its a bit sad...Loosing some1, nd i like the last line u changed! Nothin ta write! U should write more ur good!