Reviews for Ever Burning
CRaZy-OdIN chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
although Im not a fan of sean paul, this is pretty good, not my fav but it has a good flow to it. _ I like the imagery "ever burning, like the suface of the sun" keep it up x
Duck8 chapter 1 . 2/18/2006
OMG LOVE IT! This is fabulous can find no faults other than on the line 'Were burning...' u missed an apostrophe(how do u spell that?:P) but that's nly cos i am SO jealous and had to find sumthing :P amazing. Go u :)
Shadow Dragon 777 chapter 1 . 1/13/2006
Very well written. I liked the repitition of that one part, it made it very song like and caused it to flow well. Keep up the good work.
Arichos chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
You have one of the most creative gifts that i've ever seen on fiction press. You have a god given talent, and its shown beautifully in this poem. You have a nice flow, feeling is wonderful. You give great thought, and the part in bold accents your poem very well.
In Search of Sunrise chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
oh..i like sean paul! and i really like this poem! P hahah srry i haven't been on much these days...but i hope you will continue with all the good stuff! keep it up!
Tecna chapter 1 . 1/4/2006
Brilliant, I LOVE IT! It's absolutely fabulous! Although, it is related to someone some how! Fantastic poem (although you may need to check your grammer... 'Unexplainable' and 'we're'... but I still love it! It's super!
Aquafied chapter 1 . 1/4/2006
young, childish, you captured it near perfectly.

young love isnt so innocent anymore.
GC Age chapter 1 . 1/4/2006
This poem is plagued with weak words...I felt that you had many weak words in thos poem which quite makes the poem unblanaced and messes up the flow. ALso those corus verses are very powerful and are written with greater passion then the rest. ALthough this may work for some peoms and song here it simply is too big of a diffrence. In some places it is almost foolish...the line saying you have books and I have books is quite a mistake, it automaticaly triggers the audiance to think you are some nerd(though I may be wrong, then again which poet was not a nerd at some point). Now I also see almost bits and pieces of other songs and cliches here and that just wont do, again this unbalances the poem. Dont get me wrong you could get a good poem out of this if you changed some words around and maybe expressed a deeper feeling into it. I find that the problem with many poems(even mine) is that the poet writing it, although they feel something they are unsure of what they feel this then throws the poem into questioning its own existance this also may work some times but it is rare with immature writers(although the may be good). Ok long review lol I know I may have hurt you and cuased you think that I am "mean" yet I am not. I am simply trying to get you to write better becasue after all that is what this site is for.

"keep on writing those words long and true"-G.C. Ice