Reviews for Passive
Narq chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
This is a great, wonderful poem! I liked it a lot
This Account Was Abandoned chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
Wow... this sounds awfully familiar situation-wise... you got it down. Good poem.
a certain slant of light chapter 1 . 2/15/2008
Oh, I love this. I can relate slightly (or perhaps more than slightly). Beautiful.
Oracle of Destiny chapter 1 . 11/29/2007
This is quite a touching poem and I really feel that it was written sraight from the heart xD Well done with this
Grayhome chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
Ok, I've gone through your poem once, but I don't think I fully grasped it, so I'm going through it again with the review window open so I can write things down as I notice them.

*Some wishes are just plain impossible... this sounds a bit cliche-ish; you could take this line out, I think, and it would probably give more oomf.

*casual conversation: this is great alliteration for the character who's narrating this poem, because it sounds awkward. Great.

*paper barriers: great metaphor

*Could shatter my fragile little world- sounds rather simple and predictable... based on your word choices for other things, I think you could communicate this line better.

*You gave me back my life: you could oomf this up.

*Being all weird again: GREAT way to end this poem. Fantastic.

All in all, some really great ideas... the emotion could be communicated better in some lines, but maybe the point is that it's not well-communicated because the narrator is an awkward speaker. You get your point across very well, the ideas are clear, but the emotion isn't as felt by the reader as I know you could make it.
Forever Forbidden chapter 1 . 11/19/2006
Your poem describes me when I say odd things people don't understand. I feel the depths of your piece, and really hate it when I have to apologize to whomever I'm talking to for my awkwardness. Your poem voices it well.

-Helen
casperfrench chapter 1 . 10/29/2006
that was really beautiful - very nicely written. well done.
LIPSTICKFLAMINGOSROCKROLL chapter 1 . 8/25/2006
i have had a situation like that. i like how you worded it please keep writing! my day wouldnt be the same without one of your poems for me to look forward to! thanks for reading mine. i know their not that good but its nice that you give time out of your day to read them!

LURV&HUGZME!
Kristina Suko chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
Yeah, you can't tell at all that it's slash... I like it. (all the better if I hadn't known it was femmeslash)D It's so sad...

D Maranwe Telrunya
Leaving Here chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
i like it.i love how you write.
A.L.S chapter 1 . 8/23/2006
I can relate. It's hard when you love and it's not returned. But just to exist in that same space as that person is enough. I wrote something like that it's called "For her eyes only". Major complements on the stylistic devices put in to play in this poem. And thanks for the comments on my stuff as well.
Durandel chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
Good poem, I wish I could write poems as good as yours.
FoxyGrampa chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
I liked that. It made me sad, though. n-n; Some of it can a apply a bit to my current situation, if only a little. But it was good. :]
Noihseret chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
I loved the last lines! "just me being all weird again"

this is a very strong poem. it doesn't rhyme, but just the way you express it makes it feel like poetry.

you have a wonderful talent. I can't wait to read more of your work!
AcidxxPops chapter 1 . 6/10/2006
Ooh, I like this. It's very well written, gets the point across, and you were right you can't really tell it's femmeslash. If I hadn't read that in the description I would've thought it was from a guys point of view.

Thanks for the comment, and Julie Anne Peters is amazing (As is House M.D., I didn't get to see the ending episode *Sob*)

-Nia
20 | Page 1 2 Next »