Reviews for Desolate Heart
The Watched chapter 1 . 1/18/2006
Hmm. OK. Here goes.

1) The whole brackets thing? It's nice, but unnecessary. If you read that stanza, you'll find that you need the parts that are in brackets for it to make sense, therefore meaning it isn't grammatically correct to use parentheses there.

2) OK, I've said this to a fair few people, but why not say it again? Maybe it'll get through to someone.

Try writing something that's...well...original. I don't deny that, as, y'know, human beings, particularly teenage ones, we are prone to angsty moments. I'm just saying that the whole world doesn't really want to read your angsty moments, not even in poetry form. Try writing something that you feel passionately about: I admit to only having read this one so far, so everything else on here could, I suppose, be of an entirely different nature...it's just that I doubt it, somehow. Try writing happiness. You might find it's just what you've been looking for.
Ethereal Kisses chapter 1 . 1/15/2006
Hi again,

Wow. There's a possibility that I like this poem even more than the last!

The use of brackets is fantastic, and there's just such a lot of emotion in this. I particularly like the line:

" No strength left(to wander)"

This is awesome.

Ethreal Kisses
Cheshire Catte chapter 1 . 1/12/2006
If you could see me right now, you would see that I'm rolling my eyes.
just a teardrop chapter 1 . 1/9/2006
i like this. lovely feeling you've evoked :D great work!
Helen William chapter 1 . 1/9/2006
This is a sad poem but nevertheless beautiful, kind of short, but its ok.

Helen

R&R some of my poems let me know what you think