|Reviews for Holding the World|
| realityescapesher chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
"that knows you can't give fate a detour" brilliant.
| dirty windows chapter 1 . 8/12/2006
"looking like she could take the world between her fingertips, coated with i’m-not-really-a-waitress red in contrast to her pale lips tasting like candy canes without the real red." It's such a beautiful image, and it all fits together so perfectly. It's absolutely wonderful.
I think (know) that I will be favouriting.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
Wow. There are just so many images in this poem, and they're unique and beautiful and it brings all these weird visuals up, but it all works, and I love the last line. I love stream-of-consciousness, too, so that could have something to do with it. Fantastic. Keep writing! :)
| R.J. Crosbie chapter 1 . 2/27/2006
beautiful poem. i don't really get it entirely. but i think i do.
| Astarayl chapter 1 . 2/26/2006
Wow. This piece is so honest.. I love it. It's angsty in the way that real angst is.. painful, something dying in an emotional way. The imagery and flow is something amazing.. the whole thing is one big run-on sentence. At first I was a bit tired of not having any break, but then I saw a certain beauty in it.
"But the pain does not leave so simply and looks for a map to get around the past".. your lines are cliched at first glance but memorable at second.
You really made me go back and up and over everything again, after having read it once through. This piece was just astounding in diction and flow. Great work.
| bleed gilead chapter 1 . 1/29/2006
an incredible torrent of words, flowing and doesn't need periods. wonderful how she transforms, love "tasting like candy canes without the real red"
| breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 1/12/2006
I like the way that the lines drag on, and flows well together. The imagery is also so attractive. nice work!
| a lonely september chapter 1 . 1/12/2006
'like acid, burning her heart and the cloversand finally burning the past because thatgirl who fell from love is no longer just a girl.' oh, beautiful. the transformation in all this is gorgeous.
| notso darling chapter 1 . 1/11/2006
i like how you went from thought to thought as the girl slowly grows up. great poem
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 1/11/2006
Interesting concept and execution. This really keeps rolling along well, no breaks, no pauses, that really adds to the feel of the weight of everything in ones own hand. Good work.
| White Tea and Ginger chapter 1 . 1/11/2006
Beautiful, heartbreaking. The 'im not a waitress red' reminds me of my poem Boom.