|Reviews for Two Years to Eternity|
| Jordan Storm chapter 8 . 10/11/2006
oh come ON, you can't just LEAVE this here!
| Mr Bandwagon chapter 8 . 8/5/2006
Overall it's kinda cute. What bugs me though is your writing style. Sometimes I can't tell who's saying what so it's sort of confusing. Tend to always type - (character name) said - after a dialogue don't just go on writing other stuff. Also, when writing thoughts it's helpful to the reader to see the thought dialogue or narrative in italics.
I'm liking what you're doing so far. I wouldn't recommend bringing in too many more main characters to the story so it's all about Jake and Beau, otherwise it's confusing when we have to remember all their names.
I'm pretty sure you don't get reviews this long frequently though hahaha, sorry. I just like to help out. Nice story. If you could mail me when you got another chapter though, that would be amazingly cool.
| Spork and Riceball Productions chapter 8 . 3/15/2006
Hm... Dare, Always a good choice. *mumbles* well not always...-sara
| Forbidden Smiles chapter 8 . 3/10/2006
| Esquirella chapter 8 . 3/10/2006
Okay with the cliffies already! Sheesh! LOL! Cute chapter.
| Esquirella chapter 7 . 2/1/2006
That was a cool kiss!
| Esquirella chapter 6 . 1/26/2006
| Esquirella chapter 5 . 1/19/2006
| Limited Edition chapter 4 . 1/18/2006
Alright. First I'll point out two mistakes; you can't put the other persons' actions after a sentence spoken by the first person, it confuses the reader as to who said what (especially not when you have put a comma at the end of their sentence). Also, a corpse probably doesn't get old in three hours, but I was too lazy to check that, just a note!The chapter itself was awesome! The sudden death of Frank was...so unexpected! And I'm starting to like Beau more!
| Limited Edition chapter 3 . 1/16/2006
ek! *slaps you around* stupid stupid! dont gimme cliffhangers! thats so IH I'm so frustrated I'm gonna bite you!
| Limited Edition chapter 2 . 1/13/2006
the first paragraph cracked me up XDwhen jake is reminiscing about what had happened, you should use the past-past tense XD like "she had done blablabla" not "she did blablabla" (wow my grammar is SO good O_O) otherwise it'll get easy to confuse what happened when. I got totally lost in the part where it came out of the memories and went to the present...and NOW YOU WRITE THE NEXT CHAP *slams pen in your face and glares* pweese? :3
| Limited Edition chapter 1 . 1/13/2006
In the first part of this chapter you use the words "last night" many times...You have a good way of catching the readers interest (you caught me ah!)KYA his mom coming in wahahahahaah oh I liked that *cruel fucker*