Reviews for In the Shadow of Obsidian Empire
Ravina chapter 24 . 6/19/2009
Great story!

I was wondering though...what is Cindy's family situation after Kaitlyn kicked them out? I mean, are they rich/poor/average? I'd like to picture them as dirt-poor and scrounging on the streets like the mangy morons they are, but...

And I remember coming across this story in the past, but I skipped over reading it because the title led me to believe it was a sci-fi/futuristic type of story. (i.e. "Obsidian Empire") I'm glad that I read it now though! (And I will obey the Golden Rule of 'never judge a book by its cover'...ahh!)

- Rebekah
Joggi chapter 23 . 5/30/2009
hm... i was kinda hoping that she would end up with jason or hayden... but i like this ending too! :D loved the story! i hope you'll write more soon! ;D
zaki-yah chapter 25 . 5/19/2009
this story was awesome! very well written.
autumn-annette-19 chapter 25 . 5/16/2009
Great story, keep up the good work.
Sakiru Yume chapter 24 . 5/10/2009
Nice. I really liked this story. I mean, Ash kind of annoyed me for a while, and Chris was just...argh, but I really liked it. Her aunt was so screwed up, though. I mean, really.

Anyway, I really, really, really liked the story. YAY!
iamdeleted chapter 24 . 4/25/2009
Holy crap! I read this story a couple weeks ago, but I couldn't find it and I must have read it in one sitting since it wasn't in my favorites or alerts. I just wrote a review reply to you and went to your profile and flipped out! I LOVE this story! I'm going to have to reread it now. What a perfect coincidence?
I Murder on Impulse chapter 24 . 4/8/2009
Aw so cute!

xx
Alana chapter 24 . 2/4/2009
i really liked your story, but i think that it went a little fast. i mean, i absolutely loved the plot and the actual story itself, but when i finished, it felt like "it's over?" plus, i didn't really get a feel for Kaitlyn's emotions. it kind of seemed like she could only be sad or angry.

other than those two things, your story was amazing!
christinaxxyo chapter 24 . 12/24/2008
Last night, I stayed up until nearly 2 AM reading this story before I finally passed out. LOL, it's amazing and totally addicting. I got really mad during times when Karen kept coming in and Ash & Kaitlyn were on the outs but it just shows how good you are at writing :) Awesome job !
christinaxxyo chapter 1 . 12/23/2008
Your story is super easy to read and I'm really liked the characters and the plot so far. I can't wait to find out more :)
Brianna chapter 10 . 12/18/2008
Just thought I'd let you know that this chapter was very confusing. The kiss with Ash went way too quickly and it was just really... I don't know, sudden and uncalled for? I couldn't tell if his lines were sarcastic or not because the way they were worded didn't make it very clear. He seemed completely out of character compared to the rest of the story.

Next, Linc. How can he have had a major crush on Kaitlin for years and then suddenly like this other girl, who has not been part of the story so far, all in the space of like five minutes? It all seems very unlikly.
AJS chapter 24 . 12/16/2008
I know you said in your author's note that you've already revised this story three times, but I guess since I read it, I'll leave my feedback anyways. I'd really have to agree with the other reviewers who said that they don't think that Ash did enough to make it up to Kaitlyn. He hurt her BAD and I don't think it was just the whole Karen thing. It was the whole betrayal of trust, telling his friends everything that she ever told him and trusted him with, and then throwing it in her face, ON TOP OF going out with Karen. I don't think that a few pretty words AFTER Kaitlyn came running to HIM should earn him forgiveness at all. It's also gross how Kaitlyn just throws herself at him - twice. It doesn't even make sense, since prior to that, she just tried to stay out of his life.

It also didn't make sense how all of Ash's friends at first were really cold and mean to Kaitlyn when she and Ash first "broke up," but then later on in the stories, they seemed to be just as clueless as to what happened between Ash & Kaitlyn & Karen. It also didn't make sense that Ash stayed with Cindy for so long when he so obviously liked Kaitlyn.

I think you also could have elaborated more on Ash's comment in the last chapter, before the epilogue, where he said, "I've spent so much time trying to get your attention," especially since it was an idea mentioned much earlier on in the story but was never really revisited with any sort of explanation.

I think there were a few other things that were slightly off with this story, one thing in specific, but I can't remember them at the moment. The whole Cindy-Aunt-Uncle thing seemed a lot like Cinderella or something, haha. All in all though I enjoyed this story. It was interesting, and I'm glad that Kaitlyn & Ash ended up together, because they were good together when they were "unofficial" as well.

Nice story. Very interesting and filled with lots of high school drama, haha. I can't believe that Ash freaking slept with Karen though. What the frick. I thought he said that he didn't just sleep with anybody, but apparently that's not true. He didn't even sleep with Kaitlyn so I don't know how he could have slept with Karen, and especially after such a short amount of time. It was also never really explained what made him change his mind about dating Karen as well. You would have thought that 1) he wouldn't be that desperate for attention, 2) he wouldn't believe Karen because duh her and Kaitlyn were like enemies, 3) he would have gotten the clue when all his friends started to side with Kaitlyn instead of him, and 4) he would have especially gotten the clue when everyone was telling him he had f-cked up. But he freaking didn't!

I think my main problem was that it was just totally OOC for Ash to be swept along with Karen's little plans. He's not an insecure person, and even if he was, he wouldn't be so insecure to the point where he would be completely blinded by Karen. And my other problem is that he didn't really do anything to ensure that it wouldn't happen again, didn't do anything to deserve Kaitlyn at all.

Best of wishes with your writing in the future~

- Alyssa
tour d'ivoire chapter 8 . 12/5/2008
This story is absolutely delicious.

I'm planning on reading this in one sitting, just because it is that interesting, and I am really unable to pull myself away.

Ahh, I can't wait to see what happens! I love reading completed stories in one go. So far, so good!
ohxrosie chapter 25 . 11/23/2008
This was fantastic in a 'my-eyes-are-now-square-from-sitting-at-the-computer-too-long' kind of way. I was completely hooked from the get-go, and grinning stupidly at the end. It was dark, but not tragically over dramatic. I loved it! (favorite!)
as i fall chapter 1 . 10/24/2008
I like the way the story is heading. One thing that bothered me though, or maybe two things actually, were that Kaitlyn seemed like a really self-centred, typical cheerleader. The other thing that annoyed me was the fact that they called themselves "popular" and they have their own "group".

It just made them seem rather petty. But I still like it. I also think the title is fairly pretty. :)

Ash sounds interesting, as well. ;)
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