Reviews for Exits
gryffindork09 chapter 1 . 7/28/2006
i can honestly say i've fallen in love with your words, everything perfectly described. you're amazing.
My New Pen Name chapter 1 . 5/19/2006
Crazy. Surreal and abstract. I love it.
mostly water chapter 1 . 4/21/2006
And all I did was hold his hand.

The last line is...god.
Aneliz Rei chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
I originally read this as something much darker - she's at a party, perhaps, gets drunk, is later raped by the boy she loves and cares about b/c of her intoxication and subsequent vulnerability.

I like the vagueness of the story. Suggestions: (1) the only part I did not understand was wiping the screen with peroxide; why would that distort the image? (2) Also, "consistantly freezing fingers" is clumsily phrased. Freezing is a gerund, and her fingers are not constantly in the process of being frozen, are they? Its just a little grammatical thing, really, but it should be "frozen fingers." Of course, then "consitently" sounds out of place. Hm. So you might change it to her "ever-frozen fingers".

Little things.

Kudos.
HellHeartedlyBent chapter 1 . 2/18/2006
very pretty. i really liked the ending. keep it up_
twenty-second seduction chapter 1 . 1/28/2006
is beauty.
lackluster chapter 1 . 1/17/2006
so damn gorgeous. the way you use language itself is ridiculously amazing.
DOORphrame chapter 1 . 1/16/2006
THe detail was astounding. I loved it, except for the yoda sentances ('Multicolored, it was.') Wonderful little piece of prose.
smile persephone chapter 1 . 1/16/2006
Your use of description astounds me. I always find myself enamored by your use of diction and detail. And imagery, always imagery. I'm enthralled by the entirety of this; I was going to pick something in particular, but I cannot.
a lonely september chapter 1 . 1/16/2006
i love how something so small is portrayed as so much here. wonderful.
derisive snort chapter 1 . 1/15/2006
Wow this is really cool. It's very vividly done. I like it. My only suggestion is that you write a summery, cuz I almost didn't read it. I'm glad I did, it's fantastic. I hope you're planning to continue this.