|Reviews for Precocious and Inquisitive|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/17/2006
until I realize that theirs so much better...there's
I like this a lot especially all the examples of raw beauty.. those are really really good
| hardcore chapter 1 . 2/12/2006
(fine incrusted diamonds well worth their weight in pardons.)breathtaking!
| born blue chapter 1 . 1/28/2006
this is soft but powerful, simple and gorgeous. i absolutely love it.
| A Pin One chapter 1 . 1/23/2006
I want you to know I like it alot words are always the best way to get across what I want to say the most. In person I always feel like I'm going to put my foot in my mouth. I really liked the line ( All I wanted was words from you.. clear sentences and poetry pealed from your tounge like the chaotic screams from your orgasm.I've always only wanted words !
| Hail the Warrior chapter 1 . 1/23/2006
Thanks for the review. :-)
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 1/23/2006
-Need I remind you of sunsets?- I really like this opening line and the way it sets the tone in which the whole poem is told.
-I’m not looking for you; but I don’t mind / hanging around until I realize that theirs so much better out there for me- Man, that's tragic. I'm glad I'm not the guy it's talking about. And I never really thought about it until now, but I think these two lines sum up the way many girls tend to be. Or at least nearly all the ones I know.
-and all three have kissed me back with the triangle twist of youth- I really like this line, too.
-When I ran around without a care in baggy jeans / and hemlines without seams.- I love the rhyming and how effortless it seems.
-Bittersweet mysteries that floundered and flowered me.- Nice wordplay.
-bones that I kissed, /and traced, / and laced, /and faced / head on- I LOVE those lines. Probably just because they're short and rhymey. Great fast rhythm.
-malice was a facemask that I used to cleanse my pours.- Great line, but it should be "pores." 'Pour' is what you do to liquid. "Jim poured a glass of milk." A 'pore' is like in our skin.
-How I hid the names of the boys I loved in tittles and structure - Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised if you made it "tittles" on purpose just to make it sound like a tit, since your work is always very sexual. But I'm guessing you meant "titles" instead.
-We grew inside the cracks of each other until the damage/ was so bad that we just started over- GREAT closing lines.
I really love this poem. I love all your poems. But this one was especially good. It had great rhythm, great imagery, great emotion. Great everything. The voice gets more and more intense as it goes along.
| HimeHitokiri chapter 1 . 1/22/2006
You are BRILLIANT. A true poet. Finally I meet one. (or read of one)
| gold against the soul chapter 1 . 1/22/2006
How perfect. The imagery is excellent in this one, and the delicate rhyming - like a poetic afterthought, as though it just tripped off your tongue. It's so honest but dark at the same time. Love it.
| writerforever chapter 1 . 1/21/2006
Beautiful and bittersweet.
| FELICIA-SPENCER chapter 1 . 1/20/2006
That was simply beautiful. I loved the depth of this, and I'm insanely jealous right now. Keep up the beautiful awesome work. Kudos.
| forsakensmile chapter 1 . 1/20/2006
| Fabian Cortez chapter 1 . 1/19/2006
you and me,
we grew like asbestos up the walls.
Corner covered distillation.
The poetry of these lines is brilliantly conveyed. Is sums everything up perfectly.
Very Well Done
| Politically Incorrect Lamb chapter 1 . 1/18/2006
This is tried and true, indefinitely. A great example of what poetry, and thought, for that matter can do for a person. You surely seem very wise for your young age (not that I am any older, but still...). Theres intelligence here. If thats not evident, I don't know what is.
| indentured-servant chapter 1 . 1/18/2006
ah, great poem. i have to say, i enjoyed it alot
| in theory chapter 1 . 1/18/2006
Forgive me for saying so (I hate giving negative comments poems, especially yours.) but the title seemed a tiny bit on the..unnecessarily confusing. Then again big words have a hell of a lot more kick. It just makes me wonder about its accessibility. Plenty of people seem to have responded though so maybe I'm just blurbing. Just a thought!
I loved the calmness, and the vivid splashes of imagery. It's..very alive. It's almost childish too, the curious inspection of (your lover?) a person. Childish in its most flawless and unrefined.
PS: so busy, daren't update because I'll be dragged back into being on this site 6 hours a day or something crazy. Sigh. So much coursework!