|Reviews for The Coriolis Effect Rough Draft|
| Fulcrum chapter 4 . 1/21/2006
Again, I must say that the equipment the soldiers have is pretty cool. It's futuristic, but entirely believable (the military is working on stuff like self-contained integrated computer networks for every soldier). The descriptions of the technology are informative and interesting, yet you refrain from slowing down the story with minute technical details.
I also really liked how you gave every soldier in Kris' squad a name and a personality, and that they are so diverse. I think that will open up some interesting personal interaction possibilities in the future, and if any of those characters die, the reader will actually care about it, because it's not just some faceless pawn, but a person with his or her own stories and personalities and such.
I look forward to seeing how you write combat scenes.
| Fulcrum chapter 3 . 1/19/2006
Good chapter. I like the description of the soldiers' armor and equipment. I also find the idea of a feudal society very interesting-it's not something you see very often in science fiction. The whole privatized military thing is also pretty cool. (If the military was a private sector job, the pay and equipment would probably be a hell of a lot better.)
I really look forward to seeing where this story goes.
| Timur chapter 3 . 1/19/2006
Wow, I am very impressed. I love reading novels and fics about military units and personel, and this is by far the best I have come across on this website.
Not much to comment on, the flow is good, the story is followable, and the characters are bielevable. Keep up the great work.
| erinshadow chapter 3 . 1/18/2006
Very, very well put together! I love Kristanna and what she adds to the story. Its about time there was a female lead who you can relate to. The opening bar scene? amazing. To Fulcrum, your concerns are addressed in chapter three- this is a private organization. Keep them coming!
| Fulcrum chapter 2 . 1/18/2006
Good story so far. I really like the dynamic between Kris and Justin. They seem like they make a good command team. The story itself seems interesting, and I want to keep reading to find out more about this universe. There were a couple of spelling mistakes (no big deal), but there are a couple of things I really want to comment on. First, women in the Infantry. It doesn't happen today, but I won't say it'll *happen*. Also, while I can see how the setup of military units changes over time, the unit structure in your story is considerably different than that of the military today. That's not a criticism, just pointing it out. Keep up the good work though. I'll review chapter 3 tomorrow.