Reviews for Pleasant Surprises |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Jer-er-mee ! :D |
![]() ![]() woah, hun, chill. a lot of run-on sentences, no? "I grabbed the beer and headed back from the couch where the pre-game was just starting, I hadn’t been keeping up with football too much lately, I had been too preoccupied with work and making sure the fact I was a new teacher didn’t make my students walk all over me. I had told them not to even try and go there, I had been a high school student once, and I had also told them I knew the school like the back of my hand; yes I was working at Ridgeway." twice in a row; am i wrong? other than that, it's pretty good. |
![]() ![]() Hey! Great story. Suddenly ended... but it's good anyway. I'm glad I found it. Keep up the good work! :) -Danariana- |
![]() ![]() ![]() I (could-take out) never found anyone who fit so perfectly into my arms like you do. OR I could never (found to find) anyone who fit so perfectly into my arms like you do. XxCrossMyHeartxX |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ah! cliff hanger, nice! Update? even though its been like, two years? Please? XxCrossMyHeartxX |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is an awesome story! I'm so putting this on story alert. I can't wait for the next chapter. Please update soon. |
![]() ![]() u seriously need to update. i cant imagine why this story not getting reviews your better than alot of authors selling books right now. KT aka didnt feel like logging in ] |
![]() ![]() ![]() omg! what's gonna happen! don't leave me hanging! cliffhangers are the worst! i don't want to sound annoying, but are you gonna update soon? cuz i really want to find out what happened. i personally think kara should just dump kyle because she's still in love with jeremy, that would be perfect...haha, sorry, i'm a bit of a hopeless romantic and nothing is more romantic than marrying the one you truly love...well, update soon! and i'll talk to you later! |
![]() ![]() person get another chapter up now! |
![]() ![]() ![]() ..wow...that was unexpected, well ok i was expected something like that to happen but no tlike that, if that makes sense?...anyway, you have done a wonderful job on this and i agree with Jeremy and Kara that the program thing does sound a bit dodge...oh well...cant wait for an update, cheers |
![]() ![]() ![]() this is really good, please keep going i want to see what happens |
![]() ![]() I've read all 12 chapters of your story and I wanted to comment on it. I like the general plot, and the characters have some good traits that help them stand out. However, and please don't take this badly, I think there are some things you could do to improve your story. First, the characters could use even more personality. For example, tell us more about Kara's family, her life (where did she go to college, does she like animals, what is her favorite food...). You can also describe their surroundings more..give us details on sights, smells, colors...most of your story is just dialog but descriptions help enhance the experience for the readers. You can also slow down the story some...the time has progressed very quickly. I realize that Kara and Kyle supposedly love each other but more details into their relationship would help show that. Anyway, just some suggestions to make a good story great, good luck and I hope you keep writing it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() iil read l8er |
![]() ![]() ![]() oh please get jeremy in here quick! i want to see kara and him back together again. |
![]() ![]() ![]() hmm i guess that jeremy lost his chance with her then..well loved it..can't wait the next chapter to update though..well anyways going to head out then...so peace out gurl...bye-bye then..:D..just finally you have posted a chapter...hope that you post one soon too... |