|Reviews for Written Thoughts|
| RedBerries chapter 1 . 7/11/2006
I like the message you're trying to portray,and it's great that your writing is so important to you, but this piece is lacking somewhat. You need to punctuate it a little better for it to make sense. All the enjambment makes it sound like one long sentance on different lines rather than a poem. That's a shame you know, because there's some really good imagery lurking, but you just can't see it due to aforementioned punctuation errors.
By the way, what does Tyrani mean? Do you mean Tyrany? Because I can't find your version in Wiktionary.
Also, the phrase 'black as nigh' doesn't make any sense, because I don't think you use 'nigh' in that sense. I'm guessing you mean 'night'.
'cruel worlds' should have an apostrophe - 'cruel world's'.
| Katy Llewellyn chapter 1 . 2/21/2006
thanks for the review. I just went through and read some of your poems and they are really good. I like Written Thoughts quite a bit. Very , thanks for the review! I added you to my favorites list!