Reviews for Nocte Yin
GeneralRincewin chapter 2 . 7/17/2015
Some sentences acknowledge the existance of the author and so breaks the immersion.
bubublacz chapter 15 . 1/14/2015
I wanted to add, since I forgot to, I love how you ended it :D And before that I love how the students were brought to the Academy :D
bubublacz chapter 16 . 1/14/2015
Oh this is seriously amazing! I was reading the sixth chapter when I wanted to Favorite this story. But I haven't done that yet, so I'm doing it now. :D

I'd just like to say you created a wonderful array of characters. They are so quirky, weird and evil that I always laugh at their antics. Lol on Melisse. But my favorite one is Dire, then of course, it's Nocte. I do want her to end up with Paine, hehehe.. or maybe with Shikyo.

You have created a world where I was reeled in and had me hanging on to every word. I really love this :D Thank you for your hard work :D
bubublacz chapter 5 . 1/14/2015
OH LOL! I was totally laughing my head off :D
bubublacz chapter 3 . 1/14/2015
I'm really enjoying this :D
Cookie Seller On The Dark Side chapter 16 . 11/2/2013
Wow! That was AMAZING!
malicemagician chapter 15 . 8/23/2013
This is around the fourth or fifth time I'm rereading the series, and though I notice some flaws that I previously didn't during my first few times-some grammatical errors here and there-I remain sitting on the edge of my seat.

Nocte Yin will forever be a part of me, Ms. Zhe Xue Qing. I was a fourth or fifth grader when I first read this, and I was mesmerized. Now, as an eighth grader, I remain mesmerized by your stories. It's akin to Harry Potter for me, I guess. People say their childhood book heroes were Frodo Baggins or Harry Potter or the Pevensies, but mine will always be Nocte.

I relate to Nocte a lot. She gives me hope.

I love each and every one of your characters even though I know some of them are genuinely messed up people. I love the concept of Hero and Evil Academy. I love every-freaking-thing about the Nocte Yin series and I'm begging you to please, please continue writing this series.
Miss Instant Noodles chapter 16 . 7/6/2013
I really loved this story! The characters were all very engaging and interesting, and I loved the relationship between Nocte and her family! I will definitely go read the other books in the series.
Elyandarin chapter 16 . 3/27/2013
Pretty good story - I liked it - but the typos spoil the effect a bit.
Some particularly jarring errors:

amplitude test - aptitude test
could of, would of, should of- could have, would have, should have (it sounds like "would of" because people shorten it to "would've")
loosing - losing
fornicating with the enemy - fraternizing with the enemy
indecent - inadequate
Betty Z chapter 1 . 1/19/2012
I thought the boarding school for villains as the main concept was a funny twist on the usual hero school idea.

I also enjoyed the light hearted style of the first scene.

However, there were some problems, I think.

Your first paragraph describing Nocte was rather dull, and we didn't need to learn her favourite books and clothing on the first line. I think you could gradually show us reading these types of books later on, or wearing these types of clothes later.

I actually think that you didn't exactly introduce the mother and father in the scene as well as you could have- It was a bit clunky to read.

Also, you could have shown Nocte struggling harder in the scene to avoid going to Evil Academy. If you did so, the conflict might have been stronger.

Also, the scene here seems to happen in some kind of vacuum. I realise the conversation was the point of the scene, but you should show some sort of setting and sensory detail.

Otherwise though, cool first chapter. I'd really like to see what's happening next. :)
Rebel Maru chapter 5 . 1/8/2012
OK - I just read chapter Four. Well, I love the endless correspondance between Nocte and her family because, and don't take this the wrong way, people reading this review, it completely reminded me about my family. Honestly, five of my friends are refusing to speak to me at the moment because they were ivited over for dinner and couldn't handle the discussions.

Anyway, I digress.

This chapter was super funny! I laughed so much that I screamed at my laptop when it wouldn't load the next chapter. Though I feel really sorry for Nocte at the moment.

I'm going to keep reading this because it's really funny and original. :)

PS: Is Hei how you read the chinese script for Black? and isn't Yin silver?
Rebel Maru chapter 2 . 1/8/2012
So...

I read the first chapter and I was like... this is wierd. But really funny.

You have good grammar (or your story's just so gripping that I culdn't notice any mistakes) and your characters are compelling.

I like how the story is (at this point in time) obviously not meant to be taken too seriously and the quirks in all your characters make me laugh. I'll probably review again in a couple of chapters.

Thanks for writing somehing so fun to read!
The Devious Rogue chapter 5 . 9/25/2010
... continued ...

A very, VERY innovative idea to use letters and correspondence to develop the story rather than conventional methods. I cannot properly express how impressed I am with this.

Do take care, however, not to overuse them and make them tedious. You seem to be doing an alright job so far. Also, I found it just slightly monotonous to see all the correspondence done in the same format, which made it harder to keep track of things. Of course, if you published this in real life, you could use different fonts for everything which would make it so much better.

Keep up the good work!
The Devious Rogue chapter 2 . 9/25/2010
... continued ...

There is some fantastic development in this chapter. The settings continues to unfold smoothly and at a pleasant rate. I can see a world of infinite potential for future story development. Especially the Death Stare. Not only do I like it as a reader, but I believe it opens up a whole avenue of possibilities. I can't wait to read more...
The Devious Rogue chapter 1 . 9/25/2010
(General Feedback rather than actual review)

I suppose you're trying to write in the style that appeals to Upper Primary or Junior High students or to older readers who want a casual, judging by the informal tone, informal grammar structure and the slightly unrealistic world settings but that's fine.

As a teenaged reader of intermediate level literature, I found this fairly interesting but not particularly amusing.

"Her older sister was never as good as the Wicked Witch of the West, but she was the one who destroyed the Wicked Witch of the East."

"Loyal henchmen:" ... "priceless."

Some fairly good references. Use this creatively from time to time and your story will have noteworthy humour.

"And then there was her younger brother, who, might I add, have already taken over a whole entire country."

Use 'had' instead of 'have'. Sorry, but that one really jars me.

"And now in the present, they found, quite shockingly, that the fortunetellers, soothsayers and the tealeaf-reading idiots were, and they shuddered at the thought, right."

No offence, but I really don't like this sentence. It's too long and wordy, even for an informal novel and it doesn't achieve any effect in particular. The family was shocked, we get it, but do you really need to emphasize it so many times in once sentence without adding any new ideas?

Keep up the good work!
115 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »