Two major criticisms with your plot. First, you said he hadn't been back to see his family, but that would only be his mom and dad. We have to assume the father is in jail for murder of at least his son and probably also of his wife due to the first gunshots we heard, and if the mother is alive then the police would have gone after two runaway children, especially the youngest brother maybe even as a kidnapped victim. Secondly, there is no way in hell a shotgun is going to cause a lethal injury at anything further away than a point blank heart/headshot, and at the distances you described even a solid gutshot would still take at least half an hour of untreated blood loss to become lethal.

That was so fucked up. Not really the incest, which I don't mind so much considering that it's fictional and I don't care about taboos, but the twistedness of their father's reaction. Killing a son is far worse than sleeping with your own brother in my opinion. Not that I would personally know. But still, good god.

T_T That was so sad.

Oh my, this was so sad. T T And I know what you mean about the incest thing. I'm not a big fan of it myself, but for some reason all I've been inspired by is that and pedophelia (Which I'm also no usually a fan of). Ya gotta take what you can get, right?

so sad

but it was great

i wish you didn't kill Jaiden though

but on well nice :)

that was so sad!

i loved it

your a amazing writer

(add to favorites)

wtf this ish so wronng!1!11!

3w dats so gross i no w3 both hav problems but brothirs fing eahc othir is just so rong!

even tho ur good at speling n gramarr n aldat 0ther crap if ur riting abowt this kynda stuf u got way mor problimms than mi!1

~jessie

awe...its so sad. and yet, i love it!

You killed him? Um - I'm so very sad now. This was quite good.

Just how old were the two boys? D: By the way I luved it. x3

_ this made me cry. GOOD JOB! *thumbs up*

Wow. I'm speechless... That was amazing. Really well written and because of that it didn't end up trashy. I'm usually not into incest ('cause I have a brother and it just freaks me out) but that was a great story.

Very lovely.

I like taboos as well, and I highly respect open-minded people who right them.

You are a very, very awesome writer. I love the way that you wrote the accents. It made the dialouge play out the way it was intended to in my mind.

You also made me tear up at the end. I'm still saddened and on the verge of crying. Not many people can do that to the cold hearted person that is me.

Congratulations.

-Raven

oh my effing god, i found this somewhere...and read it...and about died. it was...*stunned into silence*

and then you flipped my name out there, and my heart stopped. you blew my ego way the hell up and it popped and now i'm left with this bloody but joyous ego seeping all over my once-clean hair and face. *pokes at sticky clump on the cheek*

wow. just, wow.

This was really, really good. Really sad but it worked. I can't help but wanting to smack them though... I mean, living room couch? They must have really wanted to get caught or something. But then I feel bad and want to hug those lovely fictional characters to death.