|Reviews for Insanity Little Things Can't Break Me|
| Hed in the Cloudz chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
This seems almost fluid in itself! I love how the poem follows the loss of sanity- from the full stanzas to the scattered lines. My only advice is to leave off the punctuation on the lines that begin with dots- because "...slowly." just looks final. Anywho, I look forward to reading more of your stories, if they're all this good!
This review comes from the Review Marathon- which is today! Yay! (see link in my profile)
| Cloak-of-Shadows chapter 1 . 2/18/2006
Great poem... love it...
You don't really find many poems based off the infamous water torture...hmm...I should try torturing my bro sometime...*evil grin*
| lxpetrik chapter 1 . 1/26/2006
That was. . .amazing. It was amazing the way you used the spacing, the repettion, everything. Write another, write another!
| Blackfell chapter 1 . 1/23/2006
Very unusual and very cool. Yes, I know I should invest in a thesaurus. The random structure at the end added just the right touch of... well... randomness, insanity, instability, etc. The torture seems to work although you are clearly fighting it. The effect is unique but at the same time it is definately your style, your emotion, your voice.
As a personal side note, being picked apart bit by bit and torn down brick by brick happens all too often in this world. Most people don't even notice what's happening to them and just think they're going insane. You at least have the perception to see what's being done to you and KNOW it is wrong. To mangle an old quote: "the Force is strong with you, little one."
| just a teardrop chapter 1 . 1/23/2006
i love this! its so original! i love the repetition and the structure. beautiful work!
| Anya Tempest chapter 1 . 1/23/2006
I read somewhere that water torture, without the person being tied up, only generates a low level of irritation and annoyance. In order to cause distress, the victim must be restrained, and the stress comes from the restraining rather than the water.
This poem was okay, although I felt it was a little repetitive in places. that's probably what you were going for.
I would tone down the elipses. A simple "..." is usually enough.