Reviews for Creation
Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 8/15/2007
I pictured a beautiful painting. You're stretching out your hand, your tool set is filled with colors that will suit your love and passion for this person on paper. It was sweet.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
I like this.. the shapes and colors thing is cool and i love the line "I still get a little crazy someitmes" because we all do... great poem
SmkyRngr1986 chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
One good turn deserves another. I thought I should review one of your works. I really like the simplicity of words that you chose for the beginning. And though you broke everything into short fragments, the piece flowed naturally. To quote the people living around me, keep on truckin'.
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 2/17/2006
-I like to stretch my hand out / and examine- I stretched my own hand out when I read those lines. I don't know why, but I did.

-(the billion little shapes)- You sometimes use parenthesis when I don't really think you should; this is an example.

-untailored / conversation / (just / another / sensation / to fuel / me.)- You have such a natural taste for rhythm. And often your rhymes read like they just came to you so naturally as you were writing. This is an example. "Sensation" came to you after writing "conversation" and out came the next line, or at least that's the way I see it. You seem to write so effortlessly.

-January is too casual for me - / too down to earth - / too new, / but in the end / the birth / of six years / ebbs / before it flows - My favorite lines of the entire poem. And "ebbs" is such a great word; hardly anybody ever seems to use it, though.

-(even in the / strangely eloquent dreams / that creep between my eyelids / like sand / stuck / between jutting pages / -long ago tucked away-)- These lines are beautiful and expertly written ... HOWEVER, I think they're just too much. It's like you saw an opportunity to impress the reader and you went for it. But these lines become so intense and attention-grabbing that they distract the reader from the original poem. By the time the parenthesis ended, I had forgotten what you were originally saying.

I think this poem is very well-written (but how could it not be; I mean, you did write it afterall). The rhythm is excellent as always. The imagery is strong and I really heard the speaker of the poem; but ... I didn't enjoy this poem all that much. Not as much as some of your others. Perhaps it didn't speak to me on any real level; I never felt that "connection." The poem seemed surprisingly colorless, too, especially considering all the mention of color throughout.

I think it's still a very good poem, though. Tt's just not as strong or memorable as others I've read by you.
Paramour-ing chapter 1 . 2/3/2006
I can really feel you in this. it being so person. i could hear your voice here.
elvenstorm chapter 1 . 2/3/2006
Absolutely beautiful images and it all flows so well, can not even begin to choose a favourite line. The shortness of each line though does make it a little hard to read but that may just be me. Love the ideas you have, really well done x
Sarah Rizal chapter 1 . 2/3/2006
This is a good one too. Your really good!
les petits bateaux chapter 1 . 2/2/2006
Very well done, I must say, as always. It's very interesting how you entwine your words with quite a sudden tinge of MALICE, yes, and just that touch of innocence. Very good job. :)
DiffusedBlues chapter 1 . 1/31/2006
Would you like to meet up with me one of these wintry, rainy days? I have some business to atend to in Seattle. E-mail me if you find my proposal appealing.

~Impressions of a leg

P.S. Creation.
myno chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
the first sentence could be a poem all on its own, but the continuation is lovely nonetheless.
breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
nice flow and i liked the idea of the blending of colours. keep on going!
like a lover chapter 1 . 1/29/2006
I found the whole poem itself to be just as amazing as all your other poems, but somehow this one part just struck me:

"January is too casual for me -/too down to earth -/too new,/but in the end/the birth/of six years/ebbs/before it flows -/it knows/how to survive without my help."

I don't even know why. I'm never even 100% sure what your poems are about, but I just love your words. all of your poems strike me in a different way.
account not in use chapter 1 . 1/28/2006
the flow of the ideas, the way they crash into one another so slowly...gorgeous.
frayedlifeforce chapter 1 . 1/28/2006
amazing imagery that was used here and the formatting with the short lines was effective. beautiful.
elasticbobaturtle chapter 1 . 1/27/2006
Very nice work. I love the little tweakings of format; the subtlest touches that give overall this effect. Wonderful toying of words-nice piece.
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