OMG - such a great chapter! I loved the part where Aden is bantering with the Kings and saying he is the Pie Bandit, Shoe Smuggler, Jewelry Juggler, etc. That was very witty.

An exciting story! Your characterisations are pretty good and so the flow of the story. I especially enjoy the dialogue- keeping 'fuck' and 'shit' in there was a good choice, far better than trying to replace them with old-fashioned expletives.

What dissapointed me was the lack of description for both of your writing. Try analysing a book that you really get into, see what it is that draws you in. I'll bet it has something to do with description. You've created a believable world in this story, and the actions of the characters are consistent enough, but without describing what they're seeing, where they are more conclusively, the story seems more like a blur than for instance a film. Whereas the plot, characterisation and dialogue are plenty film-worthy.

Also, get more into Kyla, she is your female lead, after all. You've gotten very in-depth with all Aden's experiences, and made him a well-rounded character. But despite that the princess boasts everything she's studied as the heiress to the throne, she doesn't seem to know anything at all. Think this out more deeply. If she is a 'marionette' as referred to in a previous chapter, if her father doesn't take her seriously, then how can she be expected to rule one day? If she is to be wed to that chancellor, you should make him more present, plot-wise. Or is the chancellor going to hold the real power, while the royals rule only in name? Go into the politics of the court: not many countries in medieval Europe would favor a male cousin over a female daughter to the ruling sovereign, so she simply can't be as airheaded and childish as she behaves. However if she wasn't the crown princess, it would be acceptable; if someone else was set to rule then all she'd be fit for was getting married off.

If you went back and tried to describe this colorful, eventful world I'm sure you'd have far more interested readers; this story really does deserve it. It shouldn't be very difficult: simply try to visualise as you go along (you do well with the poses and interactions between characters), and then get into the details that your character would pay attention to. I'll be keeping an eye out for updates. Hope you keep writing~

Growl...you must do this cliffhanger thing just to put me out of my stinkin mind. Im already insane enough without your help, thank you very much! Goodness, I LOVED this chapter, and my imagination is working overtime with how Macyn is going to manage to come through in the clutch, or Kyla is able to bargain herself out of the situation, or whether the bandits turn out to be gentlemen in disguise... In short, you two have done it again; what an excellent story this is! One thing I would be interested to see is Macyn's perspective; I think it might add a bit to this already fantastic story, and I would love to see the way he thinks. Just a suggestion. Keep up the good work!

Q

OMG! OMG! OMG! And that's all I can think to say. Loves (and keep writing!) Archer

luv it

Wow, this story has me hooked! I keep waiting to see what will happen next. I can't wait until the next update!

amazing

! Great job, keep it up.

Unlike other authors, I'm not about to plug my work...In fact, I'd almost recommend you not to read it...One of them pains me to read and will actually, definetly be coming down soon, maybe to be revamped, maybe just to go in the garbage...The other one, while better than the first in my opinion, doesn't actually have a plot yet and so, I don't think it's going anywhere...But you can read them if you really want to...It's not like I could stop you...Well, short of taking them down, and right now, I'm a bit lazy to be doing that...

Poor Aden...He's only just come to terms with the fact that he really, truly cares for her...

And he got a haircut...Yippee for haircuts! May we all have cute shorter hair...Oh yeah...Just got my summer cut...Now my head feels too light...And I keep getting too much shampoo...

Just out of curiosity, do you ever get the feeling one of your readers might be quite mad? A little batty, if you know what I mean?

Great chapter! I could see that Kyla is really growing on Aden. It was fun reading about her telling him about the stable boys and such. I guess he was jealous or something. I can't wait 'till the next chapter.

And yet another lovely interesting chapter! :) i really like this stoy. There are so many stories on here below par, that you can start reading and lose the will to carry on with, but this is definitely NOT one of those. I'm beginning to like Kayla more now, i guess its just her character developing and Aden is so lovely. I dunno how i feel about macyn yet- he still isn't quite defined as 'good' i guess- i thouhg it was a good move that you avoided the cliche and had a trusted frined betray them- it makes it more exciting. I have to say i thought your profiles were hilarious! most amusing! i look forward to the next chapter.

Hello there :). I just started reading your story and decided I would leave a review at the last chapter updated to tell you that I absolutly adore this story! :D It's basically a favorite of mine. I love Kyla, she's so stubborn! haha But that's why I like her, although I'm sure Aden doesn't like her persistance but oh well he will just have to deal. Anyways can't wait for the next update :). I'll be waiting!

-DarK-FreEdoM

GREAT! Shorty really IS perverted. Poor Kyla - that nightmare!

omigah d kidnapper had a limp! hahap anyway juz kip it up and update soon!

You forgot the underscore between the two words...Everyone seems to do that...It's kinda hard to see it when you look at the reviews...It took me forever to find my friend's pen name because I forgot the underscore...

And I don't suggest you read "Confused Identity" because I don't think that one's going to be up for much longer...I'm completly bored with it, it's predictable (ok well, if I read it from someone else, I'd know what's going to happen), my characters are fairly two dimensional, and it's just not very interesting writing...You can still read it and tell me what you think I suppose...Tell me what would make it better since I plan on revamping it this summer...My other story I like...even if I have no clue what my plot is yet...