Oh...More tough love up ahead...I can feel it...Hopefully, he doesn't lead himself into a trap though...Knowing him he's probably too careful for that though...I hope..

and now here's one of the downsides of reading a story that already has several chapters uploaded...You've been breezing through it, quick as can be...Going from one cliffie to the next...And suddenly, you reach the end of the written material...Now you're stuck with everyone else...Waiting for the next update and hoping it'll come early...

There are upsides to reading after a couple chapters have been written...Not having to wait after a cliffhanger or an unusually interesting part is one of them...And with that...I move to the next chapter...

I'm not sure I WANT to see how his friend's going to react...That'd be a tough situation for anyone...Personally, I probably would've just bid her off by now...Apparently, Aden has more patience than I do...A great deal more...

He's adorable...I love him...Ah...I really just want to squeeze him...Ohh...I'm getting all warm and fuzzy like when you watch a good romance movie or read a good romance novel...That feeling where your heart melts, and you coo and squeal, and you curl your toes because it's so sweet...

I'll check the story everyday so it doesn't really matter...With over a hundred stories that you watch for updates, it just becomes a routine...Qutie fun really...I spend at least 15 minutes a day going through all of my stories looking for updates...The good days are the ones when everyone updates...It seems like usually it's a Thursday...I haven't quite figured out why...

I thought your chapter was BEAUTIFUL.

Love you,

Fork

GOOD! I hope you update soon! I wish the two week interval weren't so long. Anyway, I'm guessing that IF Aden and Kyla were married, Aden would be protestign all the way to the altar, and afterwards, would insist on sleeping on an armchair or something...

I'm loving this story so far. It seems very interesting. I like how you've written the characters' personalities.

""Oh, Aden, are you all right?" She asked, looking every bit like a lost puppy, worried that its newfound master was going to abandon it." hehe, I love that. ;-D

I found the whole muscle conversation absolutely hilarious. Brilliant. You are geniuses.

She's such a fluff head! And she's like a little child too. She's adorable.

Fantastic description of the way the guy crept up on Aden - I could almost hear the breathing.

"I stepped back, putting a few feet between us " that must have been a hell of a leap if it was a few feet! (nitpicking again, sorry)

He killed him! (I gasped out loud at that bit - very squeamish pacifist here *waves*)

Oh no! It's dislocated! I don't know if I can read on any more... *grimaces*

Cool chapter, update soon!

Nice start - I'm assuming this is a flashback to the day before?

"Iris screeched" As far as I know, maids tend not to screech - they were expected to be quiet and submissive. (Sorry, sometimes I just can't resist nitpicking.)

Ooh, I like Iris' character, nicely written, she comes across very clearly. But I still don't think she'd shriek. (All right, I'll shut up now.)

"Her form of punishment was starvation" Whoa, that's unusual. I like that idea though (not that I like the idea of anyone being starved, but it fits really well.)

"My cheeks grew hot and I hunched my shoulders in shame" this seems like a bit of an over-reaction. But the rest of the conversation was really well done.

Why did she run away as a child?

"One road lied before me," Lay.

"Well…actually, I really wanted to cut off that long auburn ponytail of his, but then he'd be perfect" Hehe, awesome. Great writing.

"After a brief argument, he lied down his cloak for me in a mocking gesture" Again, 'lay', not lied. And in the next sentence.

Aww, I'm in love with Aden already.

I'm amazed at how you managed to make the princess so likeable, since she's obviously a bit of a fluff-head. But I do actually quite like her, which I'm impressed by.

Cool chapter, keep writing!

lol.. "I'M A CRIPPLE!" Aden: Shit.

lol! God, I love this story. Ya'll are doing a great job. My only bitch is the grammer in Chapter Kyla-"laid" is not the word to use in those instances, I think they were all "lay" or something. Oh well. Very vivid images. I liked how Aden killed the headhunter. Very LOTR, but a technique I have used myself nonetheless. You haven't overlooked any details either, like getting rid of Kyla's dress and how Aden washed his wound before dressing it. It's important to do stuff like that so that one can see the difference in characters. Except I was a little suprised Kyla didn't freak out at the blood. Oh well. Anyway, can't wait for the next installment. I love you guys!XOXOArcher

you're god! i super like your story! especially the protagonist guy) more power!

scary headhunter, that was a funny conversation in the begginning

They both have SUCH different views! From Kayla's view, Aden is shy. From Aden's view, Kayla is very naive. So Kayla isn't naive unless you look from Aden's point of view.

I am finally here to read. I have read the first half of this chapter at least three times already, but when there's four people all wanting to use the computer at once, and I have masses of homework to do, it's difficult to get through anything more than a hundred words long. *Sigh*

But I'm determined to finish at least the first chapter! Graow.

Great beginning, you have a lovely style already apparent. Light, flows beautifully, concise and easy to read.

"“Shit.” Locked." I loved that. Don't ask me why.

Macyn sounds like an interesting character. Nice description - very interesting... (imagine a russian accent)

There's a little problem with speech, just a grammatical thing, but it disrupts the flow.

"“Yeah. One thing.” I answered." If you're adding a speech tag (he said/she said) it should never be a full stop at the end of the speech. Where you -would- put a full stop, it should be a comma, question marks are fine, but the speech tag doesn't need to start with a capital letter (same wih exclamation marks.)

Whole words/phrases in capitals is generally considered amateur writing, but it doesn't really bother me. Up to you.

"Call it a hunch, but I knew that they weren’t trying to give me their address so I could come to a fancy party and eat their food." That's what I meant about the light style - lovely - gives the story a slightly humourous tone and voice that's really nice to read.

"My hood fell off too." I think it would flow a little if it was - 'had fallen' but that's just personal style preference.

"I knew that it would never come out… or at least that I’d never be hungry" I love him already. He's funny.

"“I don’t know, why don’t you ask it yourself?”" -

I paused before adding, grudgingly, “And thanks.” I love that too.

"Knights… They have armor. It makes things considerably more difficult." Hehe.

I will read the next chapter asap, promise. ;)

great story beginning, keep writing!