Oh wow. I love it. It's phenomonal. Just WOW. Ahh I just love love love it. I'm speechless. Completely speechless.

aah! my eyes have been raped with words.

Wow, this is great! I love how you lay out the words and then insert them into the sentances. Very inspiring! -Moonlight Writer

Wow, that was interesting. Sensual yet not so much to distract, glorying in its subject, yeah a little forced. the term 'orgasm', cause none of the rest is overly sexual, irritates me cause it draws attention to itself in shock value. you want attention on all your glorious raining WORDS!

Very nicely done. How did you come up with the words? Very creative and well done.

This was fantastic - it's so nice to see someone use so many ACT words all in one piece. That aside, the alliteration works really well and the formatting fits it beautifully.

I do have one suggestion, although it's largely contingent on what you were getting at by the phrase when you wrote it - I guess it could technically go either way. You use the word "nauseous" in the second full sentence ('His orgasms intoxicate and...'), but I think the correct word might be "nauseated," such as "made nauseated by my own body..." This is a huge pet peeve of mine, so you have my apologies in advance of reading this.

Also, in the last verse, "your offerings" instead of "you offerings," which I'm sure is just a typo, but is easy to miss.

Not meaning to be critical, because I think it's fantabulous, but they're things I'd want someone to point out to me. Keep up the good work!

i love 's very different from what i've read in the past.

"never enough to quench this chronic need forever left unfulfilled" by far my favorite line.

that type of desperation is beautiful.

"His orgasms intoxicate and immobilize me within glistening beauty and pain."

Love that line. This pieces drips passion on a steamy summer night. I'm rather pleased with myself that I didn't even need to pull out the handy-dandy thesaurus. grins Loved it. Keep writing.

-LPC

very interesting, i like the format. nice work, keep it up. ~

That's so different. I love it. Definatly not hat is expected of poetry but it fits so perfectly...veryy well done. I like it.

Hot damn.

This is awesome. I love the sense of words you used, the idea, everything. I love it.

this is awesome, all the words depicted in a different way, it's orignial.

I thought it was cool. forced, but I thought it sounded right that way.

Forced but fantastic! I really enjoyed this piece. The desperation and want was visible in every line. I loved the use of body and itallicized words, and their repetition. Great work!

It was an interesting read, good for a piece of forced poetry and defiantly like nothing I have read before. Nice work!