I find it humorous how we always write first-person stories through the eyes of characters of the same sex... I've tried writing through the eyes of a female, and it isn't easy. Less identifiable for me... What was I talking about? Right, the review. I liked it- the belief in ephemeral happiness, the lack of trust in the intent of others... Very cool. Keep it up.

okay...is there going to be any more?

I think I know how this girl feels. Shuting the mind off, but it being her refuge. And not wanting to beleive when someone tells the whole-hearted truth. I know. -Moonlight

The battle of the mind and heart. Wonder who will win. twas great, its short, but it gave you everything you needed to know. i like it.

very, very short. I'm writing this from a class, so I don't have much time. Perhaps I'll post a play I'm writing that has similar thoughts. Heh. But. The fragment seems to dwell a bit much on hopelessness ... again, too blunt and over-dramatic [though more, that perhaps has an explanation as to why her mind is in this state, and other quibbles] would be highly beneficial.

This is very good. It's small and simple, but has a refreshing style that isn't too heavy. And it's extremely relatable which is awesome. Great work!

Kali

PS: thank you very much for the review

Nice piece! I'm assuming this is flash fiction (one-shot). Anyhow, it portrayed emotion very well.

Nicely done. I like how you infuse the little girl's thoughts into the narration.h

this is so realistic, because it happens too/so much. & you wrote it so well. : )

But doesn't some part of everybody who thinks they're in love really wonder if they are or not?Sex complicates things, of course, and I guess that's why "Pleasure" kind of sticks out in this any event, it's wicked good. And very real, which makes it tangible, which makes it ... something you don't see every day. Very nice.

Powerful, you really have no idea how great and full that was for such a short story. It was a quick easy read. Very deep with many layers too it, you can relate, and thats what makes this story absoulute magic. Keep it up. :)