|Reviews for I'd Like It More If You Didn't|
| Vinwin chapter 22 . 5/25/2010
Aw. The epilogue was way too cute.
| ShadowHeHaHo-deleted chapter 3 . 3/20/2010
Okay, well, the cookie thing could mean that good things aren't always bought. And also, I just wanted to point something out. Okay, look at this sentence from your story:
"But, have hading a head start, I was on his heels in no time."
The "...have hading..." should actually be "having had". Sorry, that really annoyed me, but I really like the story so far.
| purplecraziness chapter 22 . 3/2/2010
I love this storyy!
| MintCcIceCream chapter 22 . 12/13/2009
AWW! Extremely adorable story! LOVE IT! I really love Mae's character! And Seth's! And pretty much all of the characters! Good luck writing and with life and other stuff! LOVE THE STORY!
| strawberrycrush chapter 22 . 11/25/2009
I love myself for reading this story...and I love you for writing such a wonderfull story..! :))
Though i wonder if real life 'Seth' exists...! still for the moment I can live with Mae's Seth...! :))
| Your Execution chapter 22 . 10/13/2009
Aw i love the end xD this story is flippen awesome :D
| grassong chapter 22 . 7/4/2009
sometimes id just get so mad at
mae for her naivety and complete stupidness
but sure made the story funner. hahahaha
:] good job
| Im Just Mlssundaztood chapter 10 . 7/1/2009
special brownies. Of course.
-Love the story so far-
| lets imagine that chapter 22 . 6/15/2009
Yipes! (ugh, I'm going insane.) Well, I don't know how long ago you posted this last chapter, but I have to say its one of the best stories I've read here on FP. (: I really liked how Seth isn't really the popular boy that everyone thinks he is. Plus, I love how Mae was so in denial. Haha.
Great job on this wonderful story!
| I Murder on Impulse chapter 22 . 3/16/2009
| J.J.The Juvenile Delinquent chapter 22 . 1/12/2009
this story was amazing you are truly an amazing writer keep writing
| not this again chapter 3 . 12/13/2008
I'm not sure if you still want feedback on this, but here I go.
Firstly, I like the quote in this chapter very much.
Though, I think finding quotes that have more to do with the story would be better. (Or it does, and I'm a complete idiot)
So, I can't really understand why she dislikes Seth so much, I'm oblivious as to why. It would be more apparant if you made a reason for it in the beginning.
I've read the next chapters too, and I don't find the reason for it anywhere. She just acts the way someone may do when they like someone and wont say it, but there's nothing in the story which seems to make her like him either. This I think is not very well, and a reason for either her to emidately dislike him, or for her to like him for anything but superficial reasons would be nice.
The fact that he's a playboy means he's got fairly good social skills, how she - who seems dubious to know anything of the sort - to help him in the area is very unlikely. Rather than him having a problem conversing he would have a problem talking about himself, since that's how you get to know someone, conversing goes both ways.
And I don't praticulary understand why Seth cares about her, in the way you've talked about her it does seem unlikely that he would like her. Apparantly from what you've told she's not pretty, and he's hardly had much time getting to know her.
And blond girls being better is biased, many guys like black, brown, red and coloured hair too. This however, is not that major.
And as far as grammar goes, the ! sign should not be used when someone screams. It is fine in a yell like "Ack!", "Ouch!", "No!", and etc. but in places like "I'm home!", “ ‘A chip of the ol’ block,’ that’s me!” and “You know what I would be like?” the fact that it's screamed or said loudly should be in the literate part after the spoken part.
Also, I think you should consider lengthening the paragraphs, or rather, not cut them of so early. It makes it harder to read when it is cut off so often. At least I think so, but it does look cleaner.
But otherwise, the plot of the "nerd" not wanting to deal with love, falling in love with the new guy (and a playboy), although much used, is a good base.
The stories of their families and how they both don't get along so well with them, is a nice touch, gives them some depth and reason for why they act the way they do.
The fact that she worries and think about Seth and actually like him comes quite apparant, which is good, since you bring out her emotions well.
Although the reason it happenes seems highly superficial.
And I like some part of the text, like how he avoided her instead of opposite, the fact that she cared highly proving that she didn't dislike him.
So I hope I didn't say this all to unclear. And that you actually understand what I found was good and what I found could need improvement.
But I'm not very good at critique, so pardon me if I've made it all too confusing.
| Wallflower.x chapter 2 . 11/27/2008
I LOVE this! I love every single word you have written. Yep, I love it so much that I even love all of the commas, and fullstops and everything that goes into this story. And yea, I'm only up to chapter two. ha ha.
"I felt like washing my mind out with soap."
LOL HA HA that is now officially my favorite sentence ever. :)
and yay - my name means beloved.
| theGreyPebble chapter 22 . 11/13/2008
| productofdreams chapter 1 . 10/21/2008
Hi, I read your story last night, but felt so bad about not reviewing that I came back just to review. Was this your first story on fictionpress? Either way its really good. I wish the summary told a little more about the story though, because I bet more people would readit then. I've seen it around the site a million times but always said 'nah.' Yeah, I'm a moron.
Anyways, I really enjoyed it. You make good main characters. They always frustrate the hell out of me until the end, then I feel better. The way you potray things is really advances. I actually felt embarrassed during some of Mae's embarrassing moments (like her challenging Alexis to a fight).
Am i going anywhere with this? Not really. Its really good. There I said it. Oh in the story you mentioned a scene where they were watching an old musical, I have to say I was offended once I recognized the musical Mae was making fun of. 'Hello Dolly' happens to be one of my favorite old movies, and hearing people insult classics really hurts me, because without those great movies we wouldn't have the cinematic experiences of our time. I don't know whether you share your character's hatred of old musicals or not, but could you at least pick a musical that actually sucked? Pretty please?
Okay I'm ending this long, pointless, review now. Write more stories, otherwise I may die.