Reviews for Blood Lust
chornoykot chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Okay, at this point I feel like I'm stalking you via review raving...but I can't tell you enough how much I enjoy this trilogy and how phenomenal your writing style, plot, details, characterization, etc... are. You rule my world. You absolutely MUST continue writing!
Kura-sama chapter 23 . 6/14/2008
Now Jamnis is looking like good boyfriend material~ Glad that he's over the control freak issue ...

Love the ending lines by the way very interesting, the whimper instead of a bang.

I really enjoyed the story~ I like all the side characters XD Like Siral and Kat, Avery and Vlad and Michael ... I kind of like Dana and Jamnis but not as much, I guess it's because I see more of their flaws since they are the main characters. Michael is cute sometimes but I am indifferent O.o He just doesn't really leave an impression on me.

I very much enjoyed reading this story, and will be moving on to the sequal~
Kura-sama chapter 5 . 6/13/2008
I don't like Jamnis ... he's a control freak.

Seriously though, Jamnis is all wrong for Dana. He's EXACTLY like her mother ... and I'm just thinking, why the hell did she run away from her mother only to end up with someone just like her? Why is she giving in so easily all the time?

In my honest opinion, unless Jamnis changes through the course of this story, I don't like Dana to end up together with Jamnis in the end. Someone else should seriously come and dazzle her away ... and Jamnis needs a taste of things out of his control.

Since a lot of this story has been already written, I'll just see what happens next then. Just voicing what I think of the couple so far.

Really really enjoy the story. I like Vlad, Avery, and even Gavin XD I would have loved Jamnis if only he wasn't such an insensitive bastard. Seriously ... it feels as if he doesn't care about Dana's feelings at all. Not when she wants some space, not when she doesn't want to lose her virginity right away, not when she hates that he had to be all cuddly with another girl... basically he is treating her like a pretty doll that has the added bonus of delicious blood and "entertainment". If he could turn her into a mindless doll, he probably would. That's exactly what he's trying to do, taking away every last shred of her independence and dignity and molding her into his little sex slave and tasty snack.

If I was Dana, I'd get the hell away and find another who actually appreciates a woman with independence and a brain to think for herself.
Demonic Huntress chapter 23 . 6/12/2008
Excellent! Can't wait to read your next one! D
chocoholics anonymous chapter 1 . 5/15/2008
i just realized that the last time i reviewed i wrote "4" instead of "4" :/ oops. ANYWAY, i like the third one so far, i just haven't had time to finish yet. laterz!
chocoholics anonymous chapter 23 . 5/5/2008
i think i actually like the whimper ending - which is odd for my usual tastes; but i guess it helps me that I'm reading these so late and that there's already another story waiting for me. I would have commented at the end Bad Blood too, but at the time, there were 4 comments and i didn't want to disturb the number. ) But yes nice work, one little thing about Caroline though, i could have sworn that around the first time she was mentioned i thought she was Sirel's COUSIN instead of sister, but i could totally be hallucinating so... eh. But yay, congrats on magnificent work so far. :) I'll probably comment again in a week or so.
neferteenie chapter 1 . 3/31/2008
I've been craving for some good, complete stories to read. Something interesting, something different. And then I found your story 'Bad Blood,' and it was exactly what I was looking for. It was different, interesting, and kept me reading until 5 in the morning! So after that, I, of course, had to check out your other stories. Which is how I stumbled upon this one.

In the beginning of this story, I didn't like or trust Kat at all. And I was a little mad at Jamnis when he, in essence, chose Kat over Dana. But then he explained a little bit of why he did that...Still though, I was just waiting for Kat to do something, to try to take Jam away. Or for something to happen between Jamnis and Kat to make Dana extremely pissed off. It doesn't seem like Dana can stay mad at Jam for too long...Anyway, I feel like they do belong together and I hope they stay together. I was hoping they'd try to have a baby, like Ariadne and Gavin did...maybe after Dana was finished earning her degree. But...Dana said something like she wasn't planning on getting pregnant...so that crushed my hopes. lol. Um, and I was also hoping we'd learn a little more about Kat's background...because it seemed a little vague. But I guess it just worked out that way...

It was really well written and had a great storyline! I enjoyed reading it.

You are an amazing storyteller. I'm going to take a little break before moving onto your next installment in this series, as I like to read stories when there further along/closer to completion or complete. I can't wait to read more of your future works!
HeatherLee chapter 23 . 1/29/2008
i really dont know what to say besides this story was exellent. i really love all of the characters and the plot has nice twists that i didnt expect. my only problem-type-thing is that sometimes i feel like i dont know Dana. I know that most girls are complicated but Dana is on a level that I dont always understand. Anyway, thats all for now and i'm going to go start reading blood ties now!
lesleydevon chapter 23 . 10/21/2007
I cannot tell you how much I adore this story.

I was hoping that something would happen between Jamnis and Kat and Dana would get so fed up that her and Jamnis would break up. Then, she would sorta kinda get together with Vlad to totally piss Jamnis off. But of course they would get back together in the end.

You know if you do make a third story, you should have Dana get really pissed off and do something really powerful. Then everyone will be like "Damn."

:)

GREAT STORY!
WishesofImmortality chapter 23 . 10/17/2007
Wow. I just figured that I'd let you know that I've spent nearly six hours on my computer reading your two stories. My eyes are killing me, but it was definitely worth it. I know you're probably thinking, sheesh, I finished this ages ago, but Im new to Fictionpress, and your stories have definitely helped me decide to post. *laughs nervously* I have a vamp story half written, and I posted my first chapter today. Thanks, and I can't wait until you start Blood Ties.
VirginiaVortex chapter 23 . 9/23/2007
Just as good as Bad Blood, if not better.

Now, if you could just put out the third one...
Mean titan chapter 23 . 8/18/2007
It was great I loved it and I'll be looking forward to Blood Ties.
Vampire's Desire chapter 23 . 8/17/2007
This was a great ending. I liked how you didn't handle Yuki like different authors do, making him explode or whatever, lol. And yeah, that "encounter" was perfect at the end. Loved this. Hope your studies aren't too hard on you, and that you have fun writing the next story, since I'll definitely have fun reading it.
Medieval-Rogue chapter 23 . 8/10/2007
I really hope this review doesn't get cut off, because I want the world to see my praise for you. The last character is '~' (the kind after my signature- but you know that, so I should just...)

Because this is the last chapter of Blood Lust, I thought it would be a good idea to kind of breeze through the whole story and sum up my praise for it… And I found myself riveted reading the first chapter, because it’s been so long and it is so amazing. I kid you not- when Jamnis was about to spend alone time with Dana and found Kat in the bed instead for the first time… I was just as shocked as angry as the first time. I remember loving Dana’s thoughts on swinging a lamp onto Kat’s head…ah, the memories…

Of course…everyone, especially Kat, has really progressed since the story began. In the first chapter, I think I questioned whether Jamnis loved Dana or whether he was just bonded to her by blood. Then again, I suppose that’s nearly the same thing to Vampires. But…throughout this story…you’ve proved that first thought wrong. Both of those first thoughts, actually, both Kat’s personality and Jamnis’ love. Now, we can see that…well… Kat is not the most stable, or kind, or tact person. But she’s a vampire who was traumatized from the beginning and traumatized still…and while that is no excuse to behave badly, it certainly is an impressive thing that she … proved her place in the story and tried to overcome her difficulties.

The twenty-third and final chapter of Blood Lust. Wow.

Like I told you, I simply read through the first half of it when I received it. Your fiction captivated me from the very start. The very first line of the chapter set up Dana’s emotions and mood while she was on the witness stand, and this stayed consistent throughout. Bit by bit, I felt her tension, her fear, her discomfort- I mean, she’s recounting how a guy she had never even met had stalked her and others from afar and tried to kill her….to other complete strangers…right in front of said murderous stranger. It’s like tattling on your sibling while he’s right there and everyone’s going to question whether YOU’RE telling the truth, not him (‘innocent until proven guilty’). Add in the fact that Avery is the only one in there, aside from Caroline, for support… well… I really admire Dana’s fortitude in this chapter, and I definitely felt what she was feeling.

And the fact that Yuki had the audacity to plead ‘not guilty’ is even more galling.

I like that you consistently brought up old injuries and scars. The line mentioning Dana touching her scars while explaining that Yuki was EXCEPTIONALLY important- it implied that Dana spoke with Avery about the testimony at a later time, which implies not only that she got out of the building safely, but also hints/reassures us that the ‘story’ continues past Blood Lust. That, and it was just hugely reaping in the emotion department- we all remember how …horrible that event was, and it was especially terrible that Yuki tried to kill her in a similar fashion. Such a small sentence has made such an impact- velvety roses to your talent!

What I ABSOLUTELY ADORE is how well you have created this world of Dana’s, and this is something words will never credit. You have placed in all the right details that flesh out a place where the modern world coexists with Vampires. Scarlet Syrup, Vampire laws, undead customs and culture, and a mirroring culture among humans who have adapted- of different professions (Vampire policemen? Who better to attend a court trial against an undead!) and problems (generation-style stalker like Yuki). You never forget the sunlight or the fact that Vamps don’t breathe, have a heartrate, or get withdrawal symptoms after periods without blood (or for some, magic). Most importantly, you CREATED your Vampires and the world their in within this series, with rules and guidelines, rather than simply followed myths and legends in the ‘real world’. When I read this story I don’t think of Dracula, Buffy, or Underworld (why did they call it ‘Underworld’ anyway?), and that alone is a magnificent achievement. When I read this, I see and love a remarkably unique piece of literature that blends all the great elements of spectacular fiction together your creativity. The result is an intimacy with your story that I have a hard time having with so many books… and an indescribable experience.

I keep trying to comment on the chapter itself, but it did such a …great job of concluding this story while leading into another one slightly that it’s hard for me to NOT reflect and review on the story as a whole. Oh! I can note on Yuki! …O_O. What a creepy bastard! ‘Visiting days’? COME ON! *shivers* what a freak. But you clearly fleshed him out (as horrible as he was, he was definitely deep), and I love that you DIDN’T make him a typical villain, or even one that was really similar to Eliot. I don’t’ have anything to compare him to, which is a great thing- a wonderful mark of originality.

Jamnis…ah. I don’t think there is any one word that can describe him except ‘complex’. He is a Vampire, driven in many ways by blood lust (or dependency, whichever you wanna call it) and 600 years of undead culture, but also …. Someone who was once a human. I stated earlier that I questioned his love in the beginning (a great way to begin something called ‘Blood Lust’), but by the last chapter, his emotions lay bare. The dialogue and actions between Avery and him just struck me as…two brothers, or best friends, or the closest equivalent that Vampires or Jamnis, really, could get. He has pride, a tremendous amount of pride, and masculinity (oh gods I could say so much on THAT sexiness). And with that pride, of course, comes with his sense of…loyalty. Even though Kat has been off her rocker since the day they met, he still… well… gave her a chance, as weak as I thought that was, it’s proved to be…good (though now I kind of questions the ‘coincidence’ of her showing up about the same time Yuki and Sakura do…). And, of course, the loyalty that is tied to love for Dana.

The imagery you created was great (per usual) too, despite the fact that this wasn’t a very action-packed type of chapter. But you used simple descriptions like the water in the bottle Dana held sloshing around, the auras she saw once she got this nervous, and I know this isn’t imagery but I REALLY loved Avery’s note on Dana biting her lip in a room with so many Vampires. In one way, it was…affectionate of Avery to mention it, you know, he’s looking out for her, which you said well with the verb ‘chided.’ But it also… served as a primal reminder of what Vampires are, the ones in the room…and Avery himself. Really, that, plus all of the other details throughout this chapter provided for a very satisfying whimper, or as much as possible.

And… *sighs* That note also goes for the ‘alone-time’ as well. The changes you made were still very…shiver-inducing, more-so probably with the mystery you coupled in there. The actions, descriptions, and emotions you wrote into Dana in that last scene … painted the perfect picture for the ‘whimper’ you wanted, and I honestly finished reading it with the mixed feeling of happiness, longing, hope, and endorphins that I get after a well-finished, not-last-in-the-series book. The ‘alone-time’ was…great. I love the point that you made with, “It was just as good, even better, than anything frantic and heated would have been.” They finally got to indulge in it, after so long of hardly having anything and feeling so much pressure and stress under the plot. The story may have begun in lust, but it ended right where the idea for the next one begins: Blood Ties. Bonds (and no, not the sex-ribbon kind). Whether you meant this or if it was your subconscious writing the subtleness, it is amazing, and you have written this story and especially this chapter in a way that makes me blush and smile to think I know you. “But sometimes a whimper can be just as nice as a bang.”

But enough of a whimper- HOORAH for the next story showing more of the Carters and Mikey getting someone (heh, I loved the way you phrased this) “who is not straight, not taken, and not dead.” As for the mess that Yuki left…well…it will definitely make for a banging first chapter(s) in the next story, and you did great with that. Mikey definitely is much more than just ‘Dana’s brother.’ I can’t even tell, through the writing, that you don’t have a personal reference as far as Dana and Jam’s long-term relationship goes- you have developed it in a very….well, I would say natural, but it’s a Vampire we’re talking about, so maybe not… Heheh, yes, you have written their love and troubles well.

You are eternally welcome to any help I can ever hope to provide for you- writing-related or otherwise. I am so glad I could help you in any way and so happy that we’ve gotten to do this much beta/writing together. The feelings you have expressed are entirely mutual, and I don’t know how I’ll express that when I’m at the last chapter of The Three Powers. I really look forward to the day that you and I are published authors, editing for one another, or just talking about our crazy villains in a coffee shop (which offers non-coffee beverages for you, of course). Namaste, my friend.

And... *raises a bottle of Scarlet Syrup*

~Cheers to BLOOD LUST, that which drives the Vamps, to BLOOD TIES (tentatively), that which keeps them together, and (most especially) to an ineffable author with an equally ineffable work of literature!~
tanya2byour21 chapter 23 . 8/9/2007
This was so worth the wait and I so can't wait for the third part in this serise. Keep up the great writing and post more when you can. I know it will be worth the wait.

Tanya
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