Reviews for The devil and me
Tasha West chapter 15 . 3/13/2006
Hmm, not sure what to think of Trevor and them keeping him...is Josie suddenly going to turn into his replacement mother? Interesting chapter anyway...and I was glad it was a little longer. :)

Frm Tasha West x
Tasha West chapter 14 . 3/13/2006
Great job! I like this...will she ever get to walk away? Ever?
deathbyeuphoria chapter 14 . 3/13/2006
Ah! I just found this story and yeah... I like it, mhm. Update soon. Ja. Mk. Byethen.
Tasha West chapter 13 . 3/12/2006
Nice chapter! I like this one...erm...that's all I can think of to say right now. But keep up the good work!

Frm Tasha :)
LobsterDevil chapter 13 . 3/12/2006
Hello there. Just finished your story so far and I must say it is quite intriging. So therefor I reveiw:

Ahem...

The good stuff:

1. I like the main character. She seem's complicated and strange. I want to know more about her, and that's good to have for a main character. It keeps me interested. And she loves coconut as much as I do.

2. I like that you don't follow a specific doctrine of religon for this story. It's nice to have a story about the devil or god that doesn't really try to teach you a moral code to live by. Kudos.

3. There are no or none I can pick up on, cliches. It's nice to find a writer with an original idea.

4. The wit of this story is fabulous.

Now for the "needs improvement dept.":

1. I would like to see a little more detail in the scenes. The dialoge is great, but try not to let it run the story. I love to write dialoge as well, but keep in mind that you can see all in your head easily, we the readers can not. (I have to constantly remind myself this)

2. I am aware that this is not that far into the story, but a little insight into the characters would be nice. I'm not saying that you should list out all of thier dirty secret's, but maybe some more habits and quirks. It helps the reader connect to the characters better. Just a sugestion

3. If you make your updates really short the story seems a little rushed. Like you forced yourself to update. That's just my opinion, take it or leave it.

Well that is my piece. I really do enjoy the story, and I look forward to the next update. I also hope I was helpfull to some extent. Keep up the good work!

Lobsterdevil
Tabort chapter 1 . 3/11/2006
This will sound geeky, but the only reason I became a member of FictionPress was so I would be able to review your story. In my personal opinion I think it's similar to a dark comedy, that's at least how I tried to describe it to a family member. From the first chapter of The devil and me I was absolutely hooked. You don't over-do the descriptions of the apartment or demons or even Curtis which is fantastic. I love Josie, she's writen so realistic, with actual human emotions that you can sympathize with her. Not that many can empathize with her, that'd be wierd. As for Curtis, as much as I love him being a complete jerk, he needs to incite more action! He's this annoying fly that Josie talks to and you just want him to be more... evil I guess. I'm just waiting for the moment when I can loath him because right now I'm on the cusp.
Tasha West chapter 12 . 3/10/2006
Curtis seems extremely different in this chapter, almost as if he is another person...and the way he acted in the end that was weird.

Ooh you did have a couple of small mistakes in this chapter tho..so yeah...

oh yeah, I was wondering what 'licorice' was...(tho i know it's the black sweets) but it's just that in England we don't spell it that way, we spell it 'liquorice'...anyway whatever...

Um and calling Jesus a 'bastard' could be seen as offensive to some people...just thought I'd say that...sacrilege and blasphemy etc...

I liked this chapter anyway, so update soon!

Frm Tasha x
Tasha West chapter 11 . 3/8/2006
Great chapter! But too short! I want more!

Anyway...I've mixed up chapters before...ah, it happens. Ah well whatever...I'll shut up about it!

Keep up the good work! Frm Tasha x
Raikune chapter 10 . 3/7/2006
Oh, the intrigue, the intrigue! Though if he was the actual Lucifer that would have been so cool...actually his description reminded me of Nightcrawler from the x-men. I think it was him. Some mutant who had orange red eyes, was blue, scaly, with a tail. I'm wondering what Curtis' reaction will be when he finds out. Update soon.
Tasha West chapter 10 . 3/6/2006
Interesting...very interesting...so interesting it's weird...but anyway, whatever...you still didn't answer my question about the chapter thingy...you forgot the chapter dnt you! Hah! That's funny! But I'll shut up and say that this was a cute chapter and that I hope you update soonish! K! Coz I love this!

Frm Tasha x
Tasha West chapter 9 . 3/4/2006
Wait...hold up...am I going mad? You added that Lionel chapter didn't you! I don't remember that before...and I couldn't even review coz I've already reviewed it. Did I jst miss it or did you forget it...But I swear...It wasn't there b4! Lol! Anyway whatever...it's kinda funny that you actually forgot a chapter! Hah!

Frm Tasha West x (I realise this isn't much of a review but :p)
Raikune chapter 9 . 3/4/2006
Umm. I'm confused. Or incredibly thick. One of the two, or both. Is she pregnant? I thought not, but this baby dream..well, I just wondered what it meant when she said 'my baby is a monster.' Oh wait, she was obviously referring to the dream baby and is not pregnant. Ah. If that's right, then I was just being thick. Also quite like the idea that you could trap souls in a little box. Usually it's something more theatrical, like sucking them out of the victim's mouths. But the box idea is better.
Raikune chapter 8 . 3/4/2006
Scum, scum, people are scum...yah. I don't know how to comment on this chapter, other then it was nicely written and intriguing...which probably sounds lame and poncy, though I don't mean it that way. At least Josie's not going to hell.
Raikune chapter 7 . 3/4/2006
Do we eventually learn under what sort of circumstances Josie made her pact with Curtis? Or wait..was it mentioned already and I was just too thick to notice..maybe. *goes off to eat a coconut*
Raikune chapter 6 . 3/4/2006
For some reason babies and dead babies make me think of that scene in 'Trainspotting' where the junkie, in his withdrawal delirium, sees a dead baby crawling across the ceiling. Weird. Also am lamenting at the shortness of the chapter but the creepiness of it makes up for it.
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